How can I get better care for my mother at a memory care home? After just 3 weeks, one of her $4K hearing aids is already lost.

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The home is top-rated but care/food is not individualized. They give her frozen yogurt when she has a bad cough. She is much higher functioning than the other memory care residents, but she is stuck in an activity room where half the residents are either asleep, comatose, or delusional. Is there any good memory care in California??? Does anyone really care at care homes??

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My MIL eventually went to a Memory Care facility. And just like your Mom, she lost her hearing aid as well as her glasses, but it was due to her own behaviors. She began placing her belongings in unusual places. We didn't realize how bad it had become until I visited her one day. She was eating a small cup of ice cream in the front room. She suddenly took her spoon out of the ice cream, placed it in one of her three purses she carried everywhere, and then stole the facility's stapler, and began stirring her ice cream with it. Before you blame the facility, think again. There's a much more likely solution. Please remember she is in a MEMORY care facility because her memory isn't what it used to be! Bless you as you take this journey.
Prema, memory care or living at home. If an elder lived at home, there is usually just one or two people who have the 24 hour shift of caring, compared to a memory care where there is a village to take care of Mom.

Hearing aids can just as easily get lost at home, too. With hearing aids being so light, if an elder takes the hearing aid out themselves, the hearing aid will get wrapped up in a tissue.... then the tissue gets thrown out.

As for activities, I have found not that many want to be part of certain activities when in memory care. My Dad didn't. He was happy staying in his room reading or watching TV. But he really liked being around people from his own generation, and he did like attending activities when there was a guest musician.

Frozen yogurt sounds good for a cough, I'll have to try that :) Could be the memory care found that works best compared to giving a resident cough drops to take which they might choke.
I can relate to this post. My mother has been in a dementia unit in our local nursing facility. Her hearing aid went missing two weeks into her stay. Very unusual since they were one thing she was very careful with and never took them out during the day. But, she’s not in her home, her “normal” environment is different, etc. I spoke with her hearing doctor about replacing the hearing aid, small replacement fee and the nursing facility offered to cover the cost.
Mom’s hearing aides have a small loop in each on that a light plastic thether can be attached and clipped to the back of her shirt so if she does try to take them out, they shouldn’t be lost.
Mom has declined a bit since she has been in the memory unit, but that’s part of the dementia as well. Two months ago she was in her own home, now this.
Loss of control and communal living is a big adjustment that I understand as my husband of 53 years became a facility resident. May I suggest a new and wonderful book that will be helpful: When Someone You Know Is Living In A Dementia Care Community by
Rachael Wonderlin. This book helped me and my family adjust to the transition to communal living.
I like all of the answers above except each state has its own rules. MARs are not always used in every state and my mom only has med supervision twice a day for now. Her memory care is not a nursing home and I have to prepare med trays for her.
She also lost her hearing aids since staff are not with her 24/7. I realize that most of her losses occur at bedtime since she would even stuff her dentures in her pillow case or under her bed. I replaced dentures twice in 3 years but I will no longer do so with hearing aids. She is resistant to wearing them, does not know when the batteries need changing, and frequently plays with them and also her teeth.
I ask you if you can trust a toddler with hearing aids because that will be the reality mindset. I already took away all of Mom's good jewelry for the same reasons.
My dad's experience was similar to freqflyer's dad. He lost his glasses the first week, but we think he "packed" them in a trash can and they got thrown away. Not the facility's fault. He was also much higher functioning than others in the facility, and he didn't like being around the other people for activities. The facility told us that the best thing is when the resident makes a friends. That happened with my dad. He ate at a table every meal with the same three men who were similar to him in functionality. They all stayed in their rooms most of the other times. Dad was able to read right up until he came down with pneumonia and my mom and I visited every other day. Maybe the facility staff can help identify someone who is similar to your mom in functionality that she can be friends with.
Great advice and reassurance above, Prema2. Hearing aids are very easy to lose. My mother insisted on always living in her home and never going to a nursing home. Because of our upbringing (long story) us kids are committed to keeping her here. She's lost her $3,000 hearing aids and recently lost an amplifier from her ear. I suspect because of her dementia she forgets about the aids and fiddles with them. They're small, so *poof* they're gone. We watch her closely and we've all torn the house apart to find them.
My aunt would remove her hearing aids then wrap them in kleenex & put either in pocket or on table - they were tossed as used kleenexes - happens all the time & not the fault of facility - if she gets new ones get them bulkier so they can be found easier
Another thought, don't forget to look under the bed, especially if the bed is a mechanical one. Or between the frame and the mattress.

My Mom had misplaced her eyeglasses, so I searched and searched. Then I brought with me a small flashlight and searched under the mechanics of Mom's hospital bed. Lo and behold there were her eyeglasses. The glasses were leaning up against the heavy inside legs of the bed where it was very difficult to see them without a flash light.
Ask for hearing aid monitoring to be put on the MAR list, which means Medical Administration Record. That makes it so there is more accountability for the staff. So you could ask that the hearing aids be checked for placement, whether in ears or elsewhere, at mealtimes. That way if they're misplaced, only a short amount of time has gone by and they'll probably be located.

Really you can ask for anything to be put on the MAR, i.e., daily showers, twice-daily teeth brushing, make the bed every day, whatever it is you'd like done for her care and comfort can go on the MAR.

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