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I have my 84 year old grandmother's financial and medical POA. She has dementia and also has a drinking problem. My aunt is her youngest child and is a horrible person, she is a sociopath in my opinion. She takes my Granny to the bank everyday to get money and encourages her to drink and smoke by taking her to buy beer and cigerettes, my Granny does not drive. My aunt's incentive for taking her to the bank is gas money. I had the bank put a $50 daily withdrawal limit on the account. Granny recently burned her legs on space heaters because she fell asleep sitting in front of them, probably after drinking. I have contacted APS before about checks that Granny was writing to family members as loans but they never paid the money back and was told that if Granny signed the checks, there was nothing they could do. What can I do about the sociopath aunt? She knows that Granny has dementia and was told by Dr.s to stop drinking and smoking because of high blood pressure.

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I disagree. At least you can keep some control of her money from the greedy aunt by having your name on the account. If you take your name off the account (which I'm not sure you can do without her approval), then it would be a free for all.

Make sure she has a neurological assessment BEFORE she leaves the rehab.

What is your mothers role in her care?
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I would have her evaluated for being incompetent and see if she qualifies or would qualify for Medicaid to be placed in long term care. As her POA, you really don't need your name on her accounts and I think Medicaid would question that in their 5 year look back.
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You are dealing with several mentally ill individuals here. GMA is an alcoholic, Aunt is abusive. This is so NOT a job for an amateur, no matter how loving. Unless you have guardianship, you have no legal standing to enforce anything happening.

Have you considered stepping back, letting the state step in, so your job can be " loving granddaughter"?
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Hi Countrymouse, yes my grandmother is currently in physical rehab and is demanding to go home. I believe part of that is due to her wanting to have access to alcohol and cigerettes. I am 4 hours from her, so I have to rely upon my mom and aunt to tell me what's going on.

I have set her up with appointments with the neuroligist and psychologist while she is at the rehab facility but from what Im being told she has to be declared incompetent to be forced out of her home, unless young children are involved.

My aunt has made this even more difficult because prior to her going to rehab, she would take my Granny to the bank everyday to get money for beer and cigs. Why would you encourage someone with dementia to drink?

I sometimes feel like just giving up and letting my mom and aunt figure this out but my Granny nevered trusted that her children would do the right thing, which is why I have been on all her accounts since I was in high school....I am now 44.

I have lost so much sleep over this.
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L, your grandmother is currently in rehab, is that right? And demanding to be discharged home when she's ready? And you live four hours away.

You have a problem. Actually you've got several; but the main one, the one that is the key to everything else, is the question of your grandmother's mental capacity. You need to get it established whether she is or is not capable of making decisions in her own best interests; and it's while she's in rehab that you've got the opportunity to get that assessment *done*. When was she diagnosed with dementia? - and what has been the follow-up on that?
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You call Adult Protective Services and report financial and physical abuse of a vulnerable elder.
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