He lives alone, still drives and has a girlfriend he has dinner with every evening. He has small artery disease which makes it difficult for him to move about without struggling for breath. He does use oxygen in his house and in his car. He rides a motorized cart when shopping and it takes him a long time to get his groceries put away! He has about 8 steps to go up and down to get into or out of his apartment so he just takes a few items at a time out of his push shopping cart. He tries to clean his house when he is able but if I drop over without letting him know the sink is usually piled with dishes, the counter and floors crumbs and clothes on his den chair and couch! Although he has finally allowed my sister and myself to clean and do his laundry. He will not allow us to hire someone else to do it as he doesn’t want a stranger in his house! He is of complete sound mind with no signs of dementia (this we know because he is in a over 90+ study through UCI and every 6 months goes in for tests. However, he is very careless with his house phone, cell phone and car keys but he has always been like this. It is now just very difficult for him to get on the ground to look under things so my sister and I do that and usually find what he has misplaced or dropped. However, we are now unable to find his cell phone, which he depends on to call long distance! Yes, he has friends and cousins his age whom he speaks with once a week! Our dilemma is that we haven’t figured out how to put a tracking device on his cell phone since he can't use a smart phone as his fingers are too big and clumsy so he uses a flip phone that is easier to use but there is no data and therefore we can not install a tracking app! Also he does get angry at us when we want to do things for him like shop or even pick him up. We have stopped inviting him over to dinner because although we do not live far and you can get to our homes without going on the freeway, he insists that he can drive better on the freeway! Has any one else felt with such a stubborn aging father?

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We’ve done that before and yes he gets upset cause it is very difficult for someone to clean around his stuff! And, he needs his house cleaned it at least once a week
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Sidstwins, it's tough to age, one's freedoms start to go out the window. So many things that we take for granted being younger are out of reach for Dad.

Is there a way for Dad to have landline phones in his house? Maybe be connected to his same cellphone number. Landlines are so much easier for us older folks to use because that is the type of phone that had been ingrained in our minds since we were teenagers.

Landlines are great when there is an emergency as the dispatcher will automatically see your Dad's home address on his/her screen. Even when a person has a stroke and cannot speak, 911 will send out vehicles to do a wellfare check immediately. Can't do that with cellphones unless one has a GPS option. I have a landline phone is just about every room in my house. Target sells them, or they use to. Not expensive.

Ok, for the look of a bachelor pad, let Dad keep his home the way he wants, even if it isn't up to the white glove test. Dad doesn't see the mess. It could also be a cocoon feeling for him.... it feels like home :)

As for misplacing things, which you mentioned he was always like that, it's the absent minded professor thing. My sig other is like that. Finally got him to put his car keys in one place when he comes home. Works most of the time.
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anonymous892929 Apr 2019
thank you for your response and suggestions! He does have a land line which seems to be “left off the hook” after almost all calls until he goes to make another call using it!
This could be the next day! It is very frustrating when this happens
I will then try to call on his cell and it is either in his car or has run out of battery! It is very frustrating when this happens
How about inviting him over for lunch and hiring someone to clean up his house while he is away? Would he be angry? pleased? not even notice? It might be worth a try!
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