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My mom just turned 97. She has had "valleys" and "rallies" several times since this spring. I don't know whether this is normal but because there's nothing I or anyone can do about it (she's receiving hospice care), I try to just accept that this is her "normal."
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Reply to Rosered6
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RO82025 Aug 31, 2025
Thank you. I am trying to be calm and give it to the Lord according to His Will
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Make peace with the fact he is at the end of his life. I've learned really is no straight line to dying of old age. My father is 97, wheelchair bound, has colon cancer, dementia and he survived a bout of covid earlier this year. Despite all this, he continues on. He will occasionally have a day when he is not feeling well and I wonder if this may be "it". So far it's not been, he's bounced back.

Death will happen in its own time.
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RO82025 Sep 1, 2025
Yes, you are SO right- thank you
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Yes it is very normal, and I see from your response below that you are a Christian, so you know as well as I do that only the Good Lord knows the day and time that He will call her Home. Apparently He isn't done with her yet here on this earth, so just continue to enjoy whatever time you may have left with her, as there will come a day when you will wish for just one more day with her.
God bless you.
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RO82025 Sep 1, 2025
Thank you; I am trying
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It is normal for HER, and that's all that should concern you.
I would discuss this individual patient with her MD, but yes, I suppose you are down to her having very good days and very bad days. For some this is as simple as what the air pollution levels are; they can have a real effect on breathing issues for some.
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RO82025 Aug 31, 2025
Thank you
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I see this in my mom, too. She is pretty healthy physically at 92 and mostly just "pleasantly confused" when we visit, But I know she gives the aides in her group home a rough time sometimes. And I know she is ready for heaven. She seems to have rallied after a fall and a brain bleed 2.5 years ago, and some inappropriate sedatives for a year or so, got really good, even walking spritely again, then had another fall and I've noticed she is walking like an old lady 😍again. Cognition seems the same as before her latest fall, it's all very confusing and disorienting to us as family, I pray for you as I write, That you will take one day at a time, and feel our Lord's presence in the "valley of the shadow."
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Reply to MomsBrain
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Have seen the same with spouse. Has a really great day, enjoys it, participates in activities. Next day, seems he has overdine oreviius day, tired and worn out. Sunce I am with him all his waking hours in memory care, I try ti miderate his activies so he dies not become overtired. I say I try because can'talways work it out. He will feel so good and want to embrace the day. As was noted oreviously, this is what their life is now. Just be their for your loved one. It will be a comfort to know they can depend on you to always be the same.
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Reply to Memories42
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97 with COPD and still rallying I would say is more "unusual" than "normal". But label it whatever we like, it is still a matter of "it is what it is".
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Yes it is normal for the elderly to die on their own terms. They will have good days and very bad days.
When their hearts get tired of pushing the blood to the brain, then it will be over. My dad took a couple hours to die. My mom took a few days. They both suffered with heart disease and dementia.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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oh wow. I just told my husband that my Mom is witty and sharp! She’s been depressed and very forgetful the last few years (alzheimer’s). We lost Dad last July and she broke her femur early this yr. But yesterday and today she’s on top of things! seems so refreshing. But after working in hosp- it scares me of course because it seems God allows a person to feel good again before welcoming them into Heaven. I hope this is not the case. But as others have advised enjoy our time day by day. God bless.
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KellyGirl71 Sep 1, 2025
Can I ask How did you mom.break her femur? I ask cause my mom has dementia and osteoporosis and she fell this past April cause she was fighting me and was walking backwards away from your walker while I was grabbing onto her she had one hand on the dining room table and lost her balance footing. I could only keep her up for so long so she went down. She fell on her left side. Her right side has osteoporosis and severe hip osteoarthritis. She fractured her pubic ramus in two areas. I was just wondering. Ty
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RO82025: Elderly patients often do rally, albeit typically for short periods of time.
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