Dad has had CKD for several years and about a year ago I was finally able to get him to see a nephrologist. Prior to that, his disease was managed by his primary doc by my dad's choice. Finally, his urologist urged him to see a nephrologist and he agreed.
Dad also has a history or CHF, but has not seen a cardiologist.
He has been under the care of a urologist for slow growing prostate cancer for 20 years.
He is also a T2 diabetic and has a history of gout.
His GFR has been declining over the past 2 years. At his check up 3 months ago, his GFR went to 15 and doctors wanted him to prepare for dialysis. We went to all the classes and he decided against it.
His labs for this month's visit, which we got a few days ago, showed GFR declined to 13. We are awaiting results of second test to confirm.
While the literature for folks who go off dialysis indicate death will occur in days to weeks, there is little literature about how long it will take in someone who never started dialysis. One article says months or years.
Parents live in AL, but I do all medical appointments and day to day stuff they need help with. It has been an exhausting 4 years with few breaks. My brother visits a few times a year, but this is the first time he has come down specifically to allow me respite.
My husband and I were scheduled to go on a 3 week cruise next week while my brother takes over care giving for both parents (mom has dementia and is on hospice for severe aortic stenosis). Dad's next nephrology appointment is the day we are scheduled to leave on cruise.
I really don't want to go if dad might pass in a few weeks and it would be unfair to my brother to have to be the sole caregiver at end of life. I also would not enjoy the trip, however, my husband wants to go and since he did not purchase trip insurance, we cannot get a refund. I feel squashed between my husband's needs, parent's needs and my own conscience.
Both my brother and I have DPOA, are in sync with care decisions, but I am executor.
If I thought dad would hang in there for a month or more, I would be okay going, but I just don't have enough info to go on.
Anyone have similar experience?