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You’re in control of this one! Take away the car and hide keys to any other cars. Then he can’t drive. Done and done.
best wishes
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2020
That’s what I would do. Take the keys.
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So what will your mother say to the family of the person he kills? Oh, I did not want to upset him?

The insurance will not be valid, so where will Mum live when she loses the house in the lawsuit to cover the damages when he has an accident?

It is easier for your family to not rock the boat. Easier to ignore the new dings in the car. Easier to not stand your grand and tell Dad, No, you cannot drive and that is that.

How on earth did Dad reclaim the vehicle?
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Motor vehicle should have sent him a letter telling him he had a certain amount of days to hand his license in.

How could he reclaim the car? Does anyone have POA. That person can sell the car. You need to find a way to disable it. Then like another post on the forum, have it towed to be fixed. Each time he asks for it, tell him its still at the garage.
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How did he reclaim the car after it was taken? Why can’t it be taken again, and this time it be sold before he can find it?
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https://www.agingcare.com/search?term=car+dementia+driving

I entered the words "car dementia driving" into this website's search function and dozens of articles came up. Read them.

I do not believe that a 94 year old man with dementia is resourceful enough to "reclaim" a vehicle that has been taken away without help from someone!
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Kentuckywoman Dec 2019
My cousin let me park the vehicle at his farm unbeknownst to my father. Somehow he found out where it was and cousin took it right back to dad. My cousin and other friends tell us 'I love your Dad so much I'd do anything for him.' I'm sick of hearing that. Dad had his license suspended due to doctors reporting him and the chief deputy sheriff of the county - a family friend - helped him get it back. My sister and I live several hours away so hard to deal with this. I am planning to give my mom an ultimatum.....either remove the vehicle or I'm calling the state police who will investigate. It's so sad....my dad was always the best of men....honorable, brave, a WWII warrior. He would never have done anything like this were it not for the dementia.
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How does he manage to get it back? If YOU take the car away for "repairs" and put it in a location unknown to him he can't readily get it back unless he is getting inside help (especially if you disable it: remove battery, unplug wiring, etc). Who is the DPoA for him? This person should sell the car and cancel the insurance asap. If no one has DPoA for him, then have the doc give you or your mom (or whomever is his MPoA) a physical letter saying he has dementia and should not be driving. You can go into the DMV website for his state and make an anonymous report of his dangerous driving. They will send a letter calling him in for an eye or road test. No one should "help" him get to the DMV for this (including your mom...just in case he passes). I've done this for 4 seniors. It works. Your dad will be angry in general, but think about him endangering others or himself. My 96-yr old uncle killed his wife and dog in an accident he caused because no one wanted to be the "bad guy". We will all be at this point if we live long enough. A bad driver is a bad driver. It would be helpful to discretely arrange for family, friends and neighbors to take him places and to appointments. He will enjoy the company more than the loss of driving. Is your mom still driving? Is she the one getting the car back? If so, family needs to have a discussion with her. I totally understand that it's not easy nor pleasant, and also sad. I wish you good luck and peace in your heart knowing this is the right thing to do.
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DrBenshir Jan 2020
One very nice elderly patient came to me for help getting his license back. He said he needed to drive his wife to doctors appointments because she has chronic pain from the accident. The accident that he caused when driving, that almost killed both of them and did kill someone else.

Not everyone can self regulate. Spouses are often enablers because they are also too old and frail to fight back. The only answer to someone who no longer is a safe driver is to stop them from driving.
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Disable the vehicle..if it is in both his name and your mothers, she can sell it. Re-repot him to the DMV, as many times as it takes.
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Just curious. Does anyone ride with him?
There must be hundreds, if not thousands, of posts on this forum about this very subject.
Some take keys. Some scramble the wiring. Say there is a problem and have the car towed for “repairs”. Some take the car. Some take the license. Some have insurance cancelled.
He sounds resourceful. How long ago did he reclaim it?
Here is a link to some previous posts that might be helpful.

https://www.agingcare.com/search?term=Car
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gdaughter Jan 2020
Whoa...agree with you on keys and wiring/pulling an essential part, towing...and the OP should know that with dementia it is possible there will be some initial griping, etc...but the person is not likely to fight well for themselves, and will give it up or forget. Coworker had a grandma who would not stop eating because she couldn't remember she just did...so they put a lock on the fridge. Heard mumbling/cursing etc...which eventually stopped. My mother was locked out of the laundry room (using too much detergent gave dad hives and resulted in an ER visit). Beware though that taking the license will not stop someone, and cancelling the insurance until the car is unavailable is a very dangerous thing from a financial perspective.
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