6 out of 7 siblings have been caring for our father since he became a dialysis patient 5 years ago. He is now 93 years old. Doctors expected our dad to live about 2 to 3 years (if lucky) but he has outperformed their life expectations. All of his savings have been depleted to pay for a home caregiver for 5 years so we had to reduce his care to three times a week supplemented with two of us doing weekly one day weekly visits and weekend two day visits which we all share.
One of our siblings now pays out of pocket for the 3 day caregiving duties. We are not wealthy people. I’m retired and living on a fixed income so I am unable to pay for this caregiver. All of us live about 1 to 2 hours away and dad refuses to move in with any one of us. He is extremely difficult to care for and deal with. We are all tired of caring for him. I think we thought we could manage to care for him for 2 or 3 years but 5 years later there seems to be no end. We’re all exhausted and don’t know what else to do. I’m just fortunate I can share this burden with other siblings. I guess I’m just looking for advice on how to continue caring for someone who essentially was never much of a parent, although still deserves to be looked after regardless of his failure as a parent.
We tried assisted living for 3 months but that was a total failure. He was more at risk there than at home (He’s also diabetic with high blood pressure)
frustrated and burnt out