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Hello,


I currently care for my 93 year old grandmother. She struggles with her mobility and performing her ADLs. Lately, her mantra seems to be I’m tired of being tired. Some days she can do her light exercise and get out of the house. Other days her legs don’t seem to want to work for her as if the brain can no longer communicate with the legs. She is constantly fatigued and lacks motivation - is this simply the aging process? Any suggestions?

Yes, unfortunately it is the aging process. I know a woman 90 that could walk at times but then she would fall an break a bone then another bone then another to to point now that she isn’t supposed to get out of bed. She has a hard time swallowing and is a miserable woman. I think when you get so old you should just make them comfortable and not try to push anything on them. Let them die peacefully.
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Reply to Suetillman
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tornadojan Jan 22, 2020
I agree! We always want to try and fix things...of course, because we care!! But maybe the most loving, gentle - although harder! - thing we can do is to just let things be.
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Um...93 is old...the body wears out
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Reply to Apeter
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Has she been to the doctor at all recently? Maybe she needs blood work done to make sure she isn't anemic.
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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To give some perspective.

Dad at almost 91 can only manage about 3 activities per week. Only one every other day. The activities have to be in the morning, or perhaps a lunch. The next day he is exhausted. When Dad was 89 he was walking a minimum of a 1/2 mile each day and walking up and down 10 steps repeatedly. When he was 90, he had stopped the daily walks, but still does weight lifting, but now he lifts the dumb bell without any weights on it. He struggles to get up 6 steps now.

Are you keeping track of the days when she is wiped out? What proceeds those days? A check up and labs as suggested by Snoopy is a good idea.
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Reply to Tothill
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Does she have a neurological condition like Parkinson’s disease? Parkinson’s really effects mobility. My mom has it and the brain and body cannot coordinate easily.

When was her last physical? Is she going for an appointment soon? You can stress to her doctor about how weak she is. They can place an order for home health to visit. It consists of Occupational therapy and physical therapy. The exercises will help tremendously with strength and balance. My mom has done it a few times and she is in her 90’s too.

As we age we lose muscle mass so it helps to exercise. They don’t want to because it is tiring. A good physical therapist and occupational therapist can get them to do it. My mom was extremely cooperative with the therapists.

The doctor also put mom on Vitamin B. You can ask about her taking it.

Best wishes to you and your grandmother.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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My mother is 93 and chronically exhausted. I'm 62 and tired quite a lot of the time myself. There is nothing wrong with me that I'm aware of. My mother has quite a few issues, as you might expect a 93 year old to have. CHF, AFIB, she's wheelchair bound, doesn't sleep well at night, has moderate dementia.......lots of things that together, contribute to exhaustion and fatigue in general.

To expect a person of this age to be anything BUT tired is a bit unrealistic, in my opinion. Not to mention, what should she be 'motivated' to do, exactly? Let her alone, that's my suggestion. She's earned the right to sleep a lot and to do absolutely nothing all day long if that's what she would like.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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tornadojan Jan 22, 2020
Wow! You described my mom and me ... ages, physical ailments, etc.... to a T!! Appreciate your comment and had to just comment back.
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Shortly before her diagnosis of dementia, my mother was driving, active, and chipper. But was increasingly forgetful and frequently complained of fatigue. One day, Mom and I were discussing why she might be so tired all the time. Her answer, “just thinking makes me exhausted.” Her blood work all came back WNL. We subsequently experimented with having someone else make even the smallest decision for her throughout an entire day, tried meditation, and simply sat in quiet not speaking while I held her hand watching a sunset. We also altered some eating habits and introduced regular sessions in a local therapy pool. Ultimately, she did have more energy. Just sharing my perspective after reading through all these excellent comments.
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Reply to FelicityB
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93 let it be, my Mom is 91 tired 24/7 gets out of bed and wanting to rest.
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Reply to Teeavilnor
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tornadojan Jan 22, 2020
Love this mantra - 93, let it be! - for my 93-year-old mom.
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Yes & No.

Talk with her primary physician and ask about her medications and nutritional needs. While it could be a sign of her body shutting down, it can also be a sign that her nutritional needs are not being met and/or her medications need to be reevaluated.

My DH did very well until his last 6 months, after a really bad case of pneumonia. He was 96 yrs 8 months when he passed. I believe in supplements and they helped keep him ambulatory until the last 3 months when I had to assist his walking to the bathroom. He was only bedridden 3 days.
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Reply to RayLinStephens
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Why is dying such a surprise? Respect her wishes. Provide comfort and love.
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Reply to Compassionate5
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