91 yo Mom was living in her own home with some intermittent assistance but had advancing dementia. She had a serious stroke and can no longer walk, confused, bad sundowners,can’t remember that she can’t walk. Went from ER- Hospital- SNF-to my house. Never went home. She is only concerned about going home but we must move her into a board and care home. Should we allow her to go back to her own home to “say goodbye “ or have some closure or will that just further confuse her and increase her anxiety? She lost 99% of her language prior to the stroke so communication is hard. She hates being at my home which is very familiar and nice. She will hate a strange place even more. 24 hr care in her own home was too expensive.
However, for you, for this big change of your Mother leaving her home.. I think this could be good closure, a change to grieve, be sad, accept. So go but go alone.
Take photos for memories for yourself - & your tissues 😥
Maybe down the track, if/when Mother asks about her home, you can produce a lovely photo album & talk about the HAPPY memories shared there.
She will get used to her new "home"
"Home" to many with dementia is not an actual place but a time when they were well, healthy, and safe.
Reassure her that she is safe. She will be going to a safe place and will have people that will care for her and make sure she is safe.
This wasn't in preparation to selling the house -- it was purely a bathroom break, but it upset her to no end to realize that she'd never live in her home of 50 years again. I felt terrible.