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Mom is depressed, grieving dad passed 2 yrs ago, hates being alone, is a fall risk, crys poor me poor me etc. Doesn't understand why she's in AL that it relieves me of asst. w/ showers, meds, and other medical issues. I do visit 2 to 3 times a week handle the bills, mail, pick up meds and deliver them, take her to dr appts I'm just burnt her calls makes me feel so sorry for her but I can't be there 24/7 just needed to vent

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If there is dementia involved at all, then there is no more initiative.

Having someone walk her to an activity might be a way to start. Her brain may not be able to GET HER to an activity, even when invited.
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Reply to cxmoody
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Does the facility host events and activities? Does it have clubs? I would contact admin to see if they can proactively invite her to some of these things and knock on her door to get her out. If she's depressed you might want to consider meds to help her to cope. My aunt takes them and they help her a lot.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Stop answering your phone. Let her calls go to voicemail. Your mom will eventually get the message. And you probably need to cut your visits back to just once a week. You can drop off anything she may need at the nurses station, without having to go see her if needed before your weekly visit.
You are now allowing yourself to be your moms everything. That's not fair to you, nor is it feasible. Only you can make the necessary changes to change things. Hopefully with you being less available, mom will start leaving her room and interact with the nice folks at her facility, and won't be so lonely. But as long as you're always at her beck and call, she will never change, nor will she feel the need to.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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