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She had surgery a day later. Main component ok but the stem was broken so had to put in longer one and wrap the femur with bands to hold it. She has a long scar.
In hospital for a week and has been in rehab a week. Yesterday report from therapy was they have not been successful getting her moving, mom says because it’s too painful. They want to have the surgeon evaluate.
Of course Mom says she wants to get moving to get back home but she has not ever been the best at working through pain. She’s good at saying but not so good at doing. Best they can do is get her into a chair to sit. Until yesterday even in rehab she’s stayed mostly in bed.
Any thoughts or experiences on this? Everything I’ve read says this type of fracture is very challenging especially in someone her age. I’m a realist and like to prepare myself for what we are likely to see though I understand each situation is different.
Based on her decline in the last 3 months I do believe she has some mild dementia along with developing extreme anxiety. She also has heart and lung issues and is on oxygen. She thinks she’s going back home and other family members appear to think that. I don’t.

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How I look at this, a 90 year old woman is suppose to be doing therapy when pain is involved? "Work thru the pain". They are good until they aren't. A broken hip is very serious in the elderly. I would get that evaluation. Maybe Mom will never get back to where she was. Maybe she will be wheelchair bound for the rest of her life. But expecting her to do therapy went it causes pain...she is not a young person, she is 90. Its probably very exhausting.
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Waghmg May 14, 2025
Thank you for your thoughts. I agree the pain has to be controlled. It definitely sounds like she needs an evaluation. I’m wondering about infection etc. I’m also not kidding myself about her age. No one can know how this will play out.
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I was researching hip breaks for a friend whose 90-year-old husband suffered one a few months ago. I think unfortunately, it was a choice of two bad options with your mom.

From what I read, surgery is virtually always required for a broken hip. Without it, there is high risk of non-healing, chronic pain, bedsores, and immobility, which further can lead to blood clots and increased mortality.

But as you know, following hip surgery, physical therapy and movement are critical, as without them, risk of blood clots, stiffness, and weakening all go up a lot. And that in turn can lead to bedsores.

The surgeon did the only thing that they could to give her the best chance, but it’s not easy at all.

best wishes
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In order for her to regain mobility she must do the rehab. In order to do the rehab she must be as pain-free as possible. But there's a fine line between giving her enough meds for her pain and the meds causing other problems, like causing her to be woozy (and also incredibly constipated). This is how it was with my MIL when she broke her back. She also had 0 pain tolerance and the beginnings of short-term memory loss (which we were not aware of). This was about 16 years ago and the opioid addiction issue was in full swing so we were worried about giving her more meds. She was 73 at the time. In the end, she didn't do the rehab and became very sedentary. From there she went into AL, then refused to get out of bed so she skipped MC and went to LTC. Even if your Mom does rehab like a rock star, she probably won't return to her pre-break level of mobility at 90. PT will stop if she doesn't progress or cooperate. We tried everything to incentivize my MIL to just be more active, to no avail. She was content watching tv or reading all day. She never even went out to get her mail or walk her dog. You are correct in your concern for where this will all go for her. Those other family members want to orbit around her at home while she's bedbound, that's their decision. You don't have to participate in that. They will find out soon enough that it's a one-way ticket to burnout. If your Mom eventually qualifies for LTC, she can go into a good facility on private pay and when her assets are almost all gone then she can then apply for Medicaid, which will cover her medical care 100% and her SS income will cover her custodial care (room and board) 100%. And, if she eventually needs hospice that is 100% covered by Medicare. I'm sorry for this situation and I hope you can show those other family members this thread so that they too can have tempered expectations for your Mom.
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Sadly it is often a fall and it's complications that will do an elderly person in and lead to their demise.
And in all reality, that isn't necessarily a bad thing, as there are worse things to take us out.
So hope for the best, but expect the worse.
Praying for you to have peace in this situation and for understanding that not all things can be fixed.
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