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My dad just had a minor heart event and was in the hospital for 3 days getting tests. He is in IL, I am in NYC. I am his POA and only relative in the US, and at his wish have been managing at home care for him for 2.5 years since his wife died. He is back home and I have a team of carers in place to help him, plus a tenant at his home who helps him and keeps an eye on him.


Still, as his daughter, I am very worried about him. If this wasn't a pandemic I'd have gotten on the first plane once he was in the hospital. Since I'm in NY, however, I am worried about being a carrier of the virus and coming to see him, and am also worried about driving across the country right now, and that my health insurance is only good for NY, as I am prone to respiratory illness.


If I knew he would be ok then I definitely would not go right now because of all these risks, but I am worried if he is not ok and I don't go what if I don't get to see him? So that is my conundrum. And now, Trump says they may not let New Yorkers out to travel soon.


This is all tough to decide. Would love your thoughts!

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Sunbroke - For the sake of your father, please do not go to him. I face the same dilemma. However, realize that your father could be alright, then get sick from seeing you. I would prefer to live with knowing I kept my dad safe, than wondering if I brought about his end. Please, stay where you are. Please call him as often as you want and I really believe they like hearing our voices most of all. Prayers to you and your dad. Stay calm and please heed the advice given here.
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It's best for every one if you stay home.
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Sunbrooke
I think you need to look at this from a different standpoint than “what if I never see him again?” Which is actually, excuse my bluntness, a pretty selfish way to view your dilemma. Traveling out of NYC you are risking not only his life but the health of his caregivers and housemate if you’re a carrier with no symptoms yet.

I suggest you FaceTime him and chat and you will see him. If either of you don’t have that capability use the money you would have spent traveling to get him and you the capability.

For you to put so many people at risk is beyond tragic and will soon be illegal. Think hard about this. If it were me I don’t think I could live with myself if caused the illness or death of innocent people. Please take the steps necessary to “see your dad” remotely. And then you’ll know you did the right thing.
with love and light
Sabrina
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No
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I live in SJersey. Those Counties bordering NY are where most of our cases are. If Dad is being well cared for than I would stay put. I definitely wouldn't fly and driving you may be pulled over by out of state police. We are suppose to "stay put".
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sunbrooke Mar 2020
My concern is if he is currently ill enough (not from virus) that he could die without me ever seeing him again.
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No. I think not. You could be bringing the virus to him and it is unlikely he could survive it. What tough decisions now for everyone. So sorry. Trump has withdrawn his edict that he may isolate New York. I have heard varying opinions on this; some that it is not constitutional and some that it is, but difficult to do. We will all have now to "wait and see".
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But there IS a 14 day travel advisory. Stay home to keep your dad safe!
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If you care about your father, stay away from him.

This goes against instinct, I know. Of course it does. When anyone we care about is in trouble our first thought is to rush to be with him. But you would be rushing from an area with an alarming number of cases to an area with comparatively few cases. Don't do it.
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I'm in Arizona and our 1st case was a woman that decided that she was not missing her vacation to NYC. So she went and brought back the Covid 19 virus.

This behavior is why President Trump is talking about shutting New York down. Poor man can't win no matter what he does. If he's optimistic he's a jerk, if he gets tough he's a jerk. It behooves all of us to pray that he does a good job. This virus by the way, isn't his fault.
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Alicew234 Mar 2020
Just by hearing the President say NYC might be quarantined, sunbrooke and others are considering traveling now. I know someone who flew to be with her mother in CA yesterday because the President warned that the option to leave NYC might be ending suddenly. His words need to be more carefully considered to prevent panic.
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Ditto to stay where you are. Spend your energies on communicating with the caregivers and tenant every day and make sure they know what the plan is if he gets worse or you get sick. Everyone needs to have the same info, contact numbers and know what will trigger a call to you, the doctor, etc. Don't assume that everyone has the same level of common sense. May you have peace in your heart as you endure the separation. I pray you stay well!
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I do not think you should go. You would be at a great risk if you were in Illinois and developed respiratory troubles requiring medical care and your insurance would not cover you. It sounds as though your father is well cared for and he is safe at home.

President Trump cannot quarantine the New York city area without the cooperation of the state governments, which he will not get. He just floats these various suggestions (Isolate New York. Back to work by Easter) without any real plan on how to execute the suggestions or data supporting them as useful in containing the virus.

The more people cooperate with the social distancing the faster this will pass. Please visit your dad via Facetime or Skype. Stay home.
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You are prone to respiratory illness, you said, so a trip of this length is dangerous for you. You may also be a carrier of the virus and bring it to your dad. You can contract the virus on the road and bring it to IL with you.............there are a TON of reasons why it's not a good idea to take a trip like this right now! It's common sense, really. Staying home means we all need to stay home and not travel or risk lives in any way.

If you've already made up your mind to take this trip, wishing you the best of luck. If you haven't and are really looking for advice, mine is to stay home and stay safe yourself right now. Your father has a 'team of carers in place to help him' etc, and you can speak with him over the phone daily, if you'd like. I am unable to see my mother who lives in Memory Care 4 miles down the road for the past few weeks and that's fine with me. I know she's well cared for, and we speak daily.
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Echoing Barb ~ no.  Too risky. 

Utilize whatever other communication tools are available; that's what many of us are doing.
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no. I am sorry to have so brief: I'm on NYC and toggling between phone calls, texts and messages from friends and family of you are on NY, please dont fo anywhere. You are likely a vector of the virus. Please stay put
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sunbrooke Mar 2020
Can you expand on why?
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