What do I do about my 89-year-old mother who functions well but has delusions that people are stealing from her?

I would take her to a geriatric psychiatrist. He can do Alzheimer's testing on her. I found a place not to far from me that does that. They were very thorough. Think how awful it must be for her to be living in a world where everyone steals from her. People with dementia will hide things and then forget where they put them. I watched my mother in action one night when she just wandered around opening drawers. One time we found her hearing aid in the dryer very carefully placed on one of the fins. I found her wallet behind books on the bookcase. I could go on....

Thank you for your responses. My mother lives independently and you would never know there's anything wrong with her. She had a minor stroke a few years ago but doesn't seem to have any lasting issues. 14 years ago she accused her new husband of cheating and couldn't be dissuaded. In the past 2 years she has accused neighbors of stealing her paper, her sister turning people against her, her brother stealing a key and taking things from her house and is now accusing me. She couldn't find a book I made for her so assumed I stole it. She says I used a key and come in when she's sleeping even though she admits that to come 4 hours to steal toilet paper doesn't make sense. She has not been diagnosed with anything and I honestly don't know if she would be. With the exception of this delusional behavior, she seems perfectly sane. I do have to question why she is losing so many things. Dishes are missing, a picture, and she says that they seem to have disappeared after I've visited so it must be me. I don't know if I should stay away from her but it's heart breaking for me as well as for her to think that about me.

My mom started telling us that people were coming into her house and stealing things. It all sounded fairly reasonable from a distance - she had a large dog door that a kid could get into and her yard backed up to a low-income apartment complex. Near the end of her living alone, she told me someone had stolen her keyboard. I said I thought it odd that someone would take the keyboard and not the computer. When we cleaned out the house, we found everything. BTW, she also managed to alienate all her neighbors with unfounded accusations about things they were doing to her. When my sister told them what was going on, they all said "that explains a lot." Now she is living with me, and she must feel very safe because she is no longer hiding things.

The delusion that people are stealing things is very common in dementia. Does your mother have other signs of dementia? Has she been diagnosed?

Of course dementia isn't the only cause of delusions. I think a medical evaluation would be helpful as a starting point.

Generally, it is not productive to try to argue or reason someone out of a delusion, whatever the cause. Try to acknowledge their feelings and be reassuring. "Your lovely paisley scarf has gone missing? Oh, that is a shame -- I know it is one of your favorites. Just in case it got misplaced I'm going to help you look for it. If it doesn't show up within a week, lets go shopping online and try to find a similar scarf to buy."

I understand the situation. My Mom is 80. She has been diagnosed with delusion disorder but refuses to go back to the doctor or take meds. All physical causes of this has been ruled out. Such as UTI etc. She can function on her own. Pays her own bills etc. Everything is fine until a topic she has a false fixed belief comes up. At this point she is still living on her own and her neighbors tell me if they notice any thing unusual going on. She refuses AL or independent living at this time. Living with me is not an option because she believes my husband is mean to me. You just have to deal with the situation one day at a time.

I agree that some more history would help so we're not trying to guess what her medical issues are.

People with Alzheimer's frequently accuse others of stealing from them when really they're hiding their belongings (so people won't steal them) and then can't find them.

Did these delusions come on suddenly? If so, I would get her tested right away for a UTI. They sometimes cause psychiatric symptoms in elders.

Otherwise, a bit more about her history would help. Is she living independently?