87 YO Mom broke her knee and won't follow directions! Any suggestions?
My 87 year old mom (who I've posted about on this site before), broke her knee days before Christmas, spent a couple of days in the hospital, then almost two weeks in a skilled nursing facility. Been home, with me, for about a week with PT coming in three times a week. My MAJOR ISSUE/PROBLEM is that now she's getting stronger and thinks she can get out of bed to the bathroom, or out of the sofa in the den, without notifying me! I tried every possible communication device before finding a simple baby monitor so she could call, let me know she needs to get up to use the toilet, etc., but she's constantly breaking the number one rule... DO NOT GET UP WITHOUT SUPERVISION (ME!).... THREE TIMES YESTERDAY AND TWICE ALREADY TODAY, and less than an hour since her PT specialist came for her exercises and who reinforced to her the importance of NOT TRYING TO MOVE without my being there! To make things even worse is that I not only came down with the flu (and of which there was a verified/diagnosed outbreak in her SNF) but I'm now having to deal with my own broncho-pneumonia of which the stress she's causing me isn't helping!!! I CAN'T find myself in the hospital, potentially fighting for my own life, while trying to get her to follow that ONE SIMPLE RULE!!! I've tried, every which way, to explain to her WHY SHE CAN'T DO THESE THINGS ON HER OWN YET, but nothing sticks! I'm at the end of my rope and need advice as to, not only keep her from making her own situation worse, but to keep the stress she's now causing me to make my own physical illness worse wherein I end up in the hospital's intensive care unit!!!
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YOU know your mom can’t reason, can’t remember and can’t be trusted alone.
IF you are going to keep her home you have to stay in the same room with her or have someone else in the same room with her.
Think toddler in a room of glass objects. The glass object in this case is moms knee.
How much longer does the dr think it will take before she’s safe to get up alone? Mark that on the calendar.
Hire help.
I would say strap her in a wheelchair and take her wherever you go but you are in no condition to be wrestling her about.
Now question for you. What if she gets the flu?
Who is going to the ICU with her? You can’t go. You have the flu.
People are dying with the flu.
It’s time for YOU to get it. Moms brain is broken. Intermediately perhaps but not steady enough to risk her knee or your sanity.
While you are resting and recovering from the flu, spend some time thinking of next steps.
Your mom has to have constant care not because of her knee but because of her brain.
When elders get to this point you, or staff in a facility are not going to prevent falling. But at least in a facility she will have help and medical attention.
Have you considered bed and chair alarms?
Did you consider having her remain in Skilled nursing as a long term care patient?
You cannot take care of your mom if you have a chronic illness. See if you can find short term respite for right now and loom into long term care.