85-yr-old father with dementia is so mad at us for taking his keys and told us not to come over. What can I do?

Did the DMV take his license on the spot? My grandsons doctor sent a letter to DMV and told my grandson to stop driving. He did, but it took the State 3 months to write GS a letter asking for him to turn in his license and a couple more weeks it had to be sent in.

You do need to get that car out of his drive and put somewhere else. If you have POA sell it. Out of sight out of mind. If he asks where it is, its in the shop.

Call APS and tell them he is unsafe and will not allow intervention. Remove and disable car or he will get it fixed. I think you understand that if you insist on intervening with an uncooperative relative it will be a nightmare of placement and guardianship. I would not take it on unless you thoroughly understand all involved including the record keeping and unless you wish to move from relative to caregiver. That latter will NOT be appreciated by your father.

I’m sure it needed to be done so I would ignore his outbursts. Hang up the phone if he’s ranting at you.

Sounds like you are at a transition point where your father needs more help and it shouldn’t be you 24/7. So here is the usual response — assisted living or bring in outside help so he can continue to live home.

Hope it all works out for you.

If he won't open the door and let you in to help, call APS and report an 85 year old elder with dementia living alone who's refusing to let family in to help him.

I have to ask...Is dad living alone? If so that should change.
You can tell him that "you" did not tell him he should not drive, he failed the test at the DMV.
You can tell him that his doctor also has said he should not drive.
Continue to help him the best you can. Ignore his telling you that you should not come around.