He says I want him to fall. Gets extremely angry. I told him that he can wear his swim suit. I'm his daughter. I am at my wits end. He stopped taking a shower way before his wife died June 30. He doesn't smell though, so he must be washing himself with soap using the sink. If I don't change his clothes, and put out clean ones he will wear the same ones until I can slip in and change them.

Welcome to the club! I’m lucky if my LO showers every 3 weeks. Dementia does play a role, but what mostly concerns him is the amount of energy it takes. But how we have it set up now, all he has to do is transfer to the rolling commode chair which we push into the shower room and afterward transfer back to bed! He used to shower 2 times a day when possible and loved to be clean, so this was dramatic.
To be honest, he doesn’t seem to need to shower as much anymore. Also, I wash parts of him at a time, so when he changes his shirt every few days, I try to have a soapy washcloth ready. That seems to really help. He refuses to allow the home aides to wash him.

Good luck to you. Even though he fights you now, he won’t always, at least not as much.
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Reply to JuliaRose

Same thing happened with my mother. Suddenly, last September, she stopped bathing . She lives with me for years. It was clock work. 930 pm she bathed. 3 nights went by, and on the 4th day, I asked her why aren’t you getting your bath ? She lied said she was. So after it got to 12 days, I was beyond concerned. She wasn’t changing clothes either. I took her to her doctor who said her dementia had changed from mild to moderate. I called the home health aides , that were recommended and scheduled baths twice a week. She had/has no problem with that. It was not up for discussion. I told her, if you don’t bathe, you will get an infection. Period. She accepted that. Hope this helps
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Reply to Erinm60

Had to wash my mother head to toe with wash cloth. Still do when she comes to my house for a few days visit. She fought me at first, but as the dementia progressed she was more approachable.
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Reply to Genita

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