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Does mom have a bit of dementia? Short term memory?
Does she name the culprit?
Is it a hallucination? Is it new behavior for her?

Watch Teepa Snow videos online and you’ll see some great examples of how to divert her from an upsetting subject.

Usually reasoning won’t work. Acknowledge her distress and refocus or divert her attention onto something else that she might like.

“I’ll tell him to stop that. We don’t stick tongues out in our family! Here mom, would you like this popsicle?”

“Was his tongue pink? I hope I see it next time, did you see kitty playing with that string? He was chasing it all around, let’s see if I can get him to do it again”.
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