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What good would it do to grieve her with this news?
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I am not sure I would tell her at all. first of all it would upset her and might put her in a depression that could be more harmful to her health. I had to make this decision with my mom and dad. both 92 dementia and alztimer, incontinence and bed ridden. the decision was not to tell them as they don't really understand things anymore. I don't want to add to their pain and they would forget about it five minutes later. so now if they bring up the cats name I change the topic to something else. it works nicely and saves them any more pain and suffering than they already have to deal with.
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If she is going to miss him then tell her, but only once. If she can't remember and keeps asking you can then tell her a therapeutic fib, doggie is out doing his business or is sleeping or is staying at Mary's house because you don't have time to take him for walks anymore.
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