So tonight after speaking, in a Gray Rock Mode, to my elderly mother on the phone, I am running out of things to say to her. She lives an hour away from me. I am 62 and work with a 17 year old student daughter at home. Now that my mother can't drive, all she wants to know is when I have days off so she can ask me to drive to her town and chauffeur her around. Tonight she asked me if I have tomorrow off because she needs a litre of milk. Then she proceeds to tell me how she just got home from the hairdressers with a friend and how she had done enough cooking for about a dozen meals for herself. Duh. Could have got that milk somewhere I think. I live in a gated community for over 55s myself in a small home. I can walk to everything I need. I actually do not need a car. In 12 months my daughter will take my car when she goes to university. Hooray. I will be CAR FREE. I have explained this to my mother in the past. She has a second chance to get her licence next week but I feel she might fail again. She has refused to move either in with me or even to my town. So I went ahead and looked after my own and my daughters comfort and bought into this retirement community. She is so nice and polite in front of her friends but over the phone she runs everyone down to me. I am sick and tired of her complaining and denial of her own problems. I am not going to be driving for much longer as I hate driving now and it leaves me nervous and exhausted. She has no regard for my health or feelings. I am determined to be car free. Anyone got advice for the words to use to get through to her that if she fails her licence a second time she is STUCK? And needs to make some grown-up choices about what to do next. No other family live near her and two of her offspring do not see her. She has never been a scholar or a thinker and its got worse with age. p. s. she does not have dementia.