I have great compassion for the elderly. As most of you know I care for my 93 year old mom and only get to go somewhere once in awhile when my husband can stay with mom.
I have known a woman for 10 years that CONSTANTLY complains about every single person in her family, including her daughter that she lives next door to. I have spent time with her daughter and son in law and they take wonderful care of her.
Had I not met them and believed her I would have thought they were awful people. I have caught her in many lies.
I initially did feel sorry for her because she lost her beloved husband. I met her through another friend. It has been 9 years since her husband died and she is stuck in the grief process. I have suggested she go to therapy. She told me that she makes appointments, then cancels. She went a few times but she isn’t interested in moving forward and loves feeling sorry for herself and wants everyone else to join in. It is so DRAINING on anyone around her so people start to ignore her and she can’t understand why. She has chased everyone away. People want to help her, tried to help her as I did but give up because she becomes impossible to be around due to her insults and mean behavior. I still speak to her occasionally on the phone when she calls.
She won’t go to senior centers, church, out to eat, movies, nothing with the exception of one thing, CASINOS! I strongly believe she is addicted. She no longer has access to her money by herself. She shares checking accout with her daughter and she will continually ask others for money. I do not give her money. She gets mad. I do not want to bring her to the casino. She gets mad. I’ve brought her to the casino in the past and stopped when I saw her behavior. I only wanted to stay at the casino for a 2 or 3 hours. She did not want to leave. When she ran out of money she kept asking me for money. I didn’t bring a lot of money with me. Whenever I have gone I limit what I spend. She ended up taking a cab home because I didn’t want to stay longer. We stayed for about 3 hours which is what I told her I would do. She knew ahead of time that I wasn’t going to stay longer than that.
I don’t care if anyone gambles but I don’t think it should be the only activity that a person does. Seems boring to me if that would be my only choice of an outing. It’s fun once in awhile with limited money and for just a few hours.
There were tons of elderly people at the casino! How common is this? I only go once in awhile so I don’t know the usual crowds in there.
This lady gets around well. No wheelchair, cane or walker. All of the employees knew her name. She takes a cab there frequently and then asks others to bring her home because she will spend her last dime! She is diabetic and doesn’t want to stop playing ‘penny machine’ to eat. I can’t deal with it. Depressing and annoying to me.
She calls me periodically to ask me to bring her. I try to change the subject by asking about her grandchildren and so forth but she talks about them for two minutes, then straight back to speaking about gambling and how rotten her life is.
My question is, is this a lost cause? Should I stop taking her calls? She never apologizes for her behavior and feels everything is other people’s fault and that they are being mean to her. She doesn’t listen to reason. I give up! When should a person give up on someone else? I feel she has mental health issues that haven’t been addressed and I do not want to be her psychologist.