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My 75 yr old mom had a massive stroke last year and I had to bring her to my city/state and place her in a nursing home for rehab and now for long term residency. She recovered quite a bit but still has some major paralysis and loss of sight. My mom was on the decline for about 6 years even before the stroke. My problem is with dealing with her borderline personality disorder. She is on psych meds and sees a therapist once a week and I visit alot and take her on outings to try to make her day and keep her stable. Of course, it doesn't help. She has been telling me she can't deal with her life anymore and that she might just blow up and get herself kicked out of the nursing home. She can't live with me because she will manipulate and abuse me with her words and will overtake her pain medication. What will happen if she ever gets kicked out?

In addition to what Mstrbill and BarbBrooklyn wrote, social services will have her on their radar as a vulnerable adult and eventually the county will seek guardianship. They will get her into a facility and she will be cared for. Whatever you do, do not let her stay will you, not even for a short time. So sorry that you have to make this decision, I can only imagine that it feels like a horrible choice. Please read some of the other posts from current caregivers. Wishing you peace and confidence in your decision.
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Penny1234 Sep 18, 2019
Thank you geaton77. Good to know. I love my mom despite her psych problems and I want to do what is best for her and our situation. My family is very aware of her mental problems and would side with me so that helps having that support.
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If she "blows up" they will send her to a geriatric psych facility so that meds can be stabilized.

Make it clear to your mom that there is nothing that she can do that will end up with her living in your home. She would not be safe there
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Penny1234 Sep 18, 2019
Thank u barbbrooklyn. Good to know she would be sent to a psych facility. Yeah, I cant help her at my home. I know it wouldn't work even if i quit my job to take care of her physical needs. She would be calling the police on me all the time.
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She can't be discharged to an unsafe environment so it is up to them to find suitable placement. You do not have to take her home with you. Sometimes from what I've read, nursing homes send her to the hospital for some real or perceived reason, then tell the hospital that they can't take her back because the beds been filled. Then the hospital needs to find placement elsewhere. But they'll eventually find a place somewhere, the downside it may be far away from you and maybe not as desirable a location. Contact the ombudsman for the facility she's at now for more information.
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Penny1234 Sep 18, 2019
Thank you mstrbill. I'm hoping if it ever happens, the nursing home won't come to me. I visit her alot but that doesn't mean I have to take her home.
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