73 year old female that stalks an ex-boyfriend on a daily basis. How can I help her?

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I care for a friend name Nancy that has a boyfriend for the last year. She goes to his house several times in the evening. I tell her not to go it's over and that there's a restraining order against you. She continues to ask why and precedes anyway. The police have been involved and several situations with her and him. He's currently been out of town for 3 months to avoid contact with her. Recently she's been stealing things from his yard on a regular basis and bring them home. How can I help her change this behavior?

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Amazon, sadly, the situation has passed the stage of intervention by a friend. Multiple breaches of a restraining order could and probably will land her in jail.

As others have observed, efforts so far haven't been successful; that's an indication that there are more issues at play than you, and perhaps Nancy, can resolve. At this point it may take a higher intervention by the police to get her the help she needs.

BTW, never, ever use someone's real name on a public forum.
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Can you talk to the ex and see what he wants to do to stop this? It will probably come to having him press charges and Nancy being
sent for a mental evaluation and hopefully placed in memory care.
This sounds like the progression of Nancy's dementia and it will only get worse so don't try and cover up, there is time for change. nothing to feel guilty about, her mind is broken and she can't control her behavior or listen to reason any longer.
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It really sounds like friend Nancy has some mental issues on board. My mother was exactly the opposite. SHE was convinced someone was stalking HER. This man never gave her any cause whatsoever to believe that. When her phone rang, and it was a hang-up, she was convinced it was him. She said he broke into her apartment. She watched him constantly. When he went for a morning walk, she was convinced he was coming home from visiting “his women” all night. (Jealousy?) As her dementia progressed, she was convinced that EVERY man she saw was stalking her. The stories and hallucinations got worse and worse.

Does Nancy have family? Anyone have guardianship or POA? This is more than you, her dear and loving friend, can handle. Get some help for her and yourself. (((Hugs)))
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The profile says she suffers from Dementia/ALZ. Was the judge aware of this when he OKd the order? Trying to explain a situation like this is almost impossible with short term memory loss. Where are her family? Eventually she will not be able to care for herself. I would start making plans for LTC for the future.
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Well. If the ex-boyfriend's objections, the police and a restraining order haven't persuaded her that she's not welcome at his house, I'm not sure what you think you can do that will carry more weight.

I second CDN's question - do you think there is an underlying mental illness behind this?
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Dear Amazon,

I know you are only trying to help your friend and you don't want to see her get into trouble.

Sometimes I think there is only so much we can do as friends no matter how good our intentions are.

If the police are already involved there might not be much you can do. I don't know if other friends or family have also tried to talk to her. Do you think she has an undiagnosed medical or mental illness that is causing her to become obsessed with him. Maybe a social worker can talk to her as well.
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