70 yr. old brother has dementia and needs to relocate to ALC, but no one can sign a lease due to financial issues. Are there any alternatives?
Our oldest brother has Soc. Sec. ($2700) and also gets $5k a month for the next 3 yrs (his business was sold and he agreed to this settlement). After 3 yrs he'll receive only Soc. Sec. ($2700)a month. No family member wants to sign a lease for a ALC or poss. N.H. due to their own financial obligations. No one is able to be his caretaker. We are past the point of home health care aides coming in. He needs more supervision and constantly rebels against everything and can not bathe himself, change his disposable briefs, make his meals, take his meds, pay his bills, and seeing his doctors. He is at high risk of falling and does fall when he decides to go outside; he can only get around, albeit slowly, with a walker.
We've managed to get his groceries delivered, his transportation arranged thru private entities, bills are auto-paid, we take care of his banking after one of his aids stole some of his checks... None of this does he appreciate, and the problems we solve, he forgets about them soon after. We take care of nearly every aspect of his life. The problems of taking care of someone this extensively, from a distance of several hundred miles, while also tackling his other financial obligations and various other issues he manages to get himself into are exhausting and mind-boggling.
We have his POA and Medical Directives, but signing a lease would make us financially responsible and we're not able to do that. Are there any other alternatives in Virginia?
When picking an AL or MC you need to see if they take Medicaid. In my State, you must pay privately for 2 yrs for Medicaid to pay for an AL or MC. The facility has to except Medicaid and not have reached their quota for Medicaid residents.
Consider how much money does Brother have? Enough for 2 yrs? If not, I may consider LTC. Yes the money will go faster but it will be easier to get Medicaid after he has private paid. You will apply before he runs out. You want Medicaid to kick in ASAP after his money is gone. For me Mom had 20k, it paid May and June. That gave me time to apply to Medicaid and get the info needed to them. She was spent down by June and Medicaid started July.
Unfortunately, he does not have any savings, nor does he own a house, property, or a car. He's renting and the $5K he receives plus his Soc. Sec. barely pays for the home health care aides and all of his monthlies.
We've spent a lot of time debating moving him to the state where we live or keeping him in the state where he currently lives and has lived for about 20 years now. We've decided that he should stay in the state where he currently resides.
There's been so much to learn about since he can't handle his own affairs. Medicaid, Medicare, state taxes, income taxes, home health care agencies, and his health issues which are numerous. We're still working full-time jobs so making time to take care of him leaves us drained.
We're going to connect with an attorney in his state and learn more about the POA. It's vital we do everything correctly, and thanks to kind people such as you, we feel that we now have some hope.
Thank you for your input. It's nice to receive answers that are informative, supportive, and non-judgmental.
If he has assets he should enter and spend down his money, then apply for Medicaid. He may need a QIT or a Miller Trust as his monthly income is too high to qualify for monthly care. So he should see an attorney to arrange, and to receive options about how best to go into care.
You are POA. YOU do not sign a lease. You sign the lease in HIS name FOR HIM. If you don't understand that much about being a POA it is crucial you go to the attorney to find out how to get yourself put on his accounts, how to keep the meticulous records required and how to sign FOR him as HIS POA. You never sign your own name ever as responsible for any bills. Say his name is Donald Dumas and yours is Carla Dumas. You would sign ALL checks and ALL leases as Donald Dumas by Carla Dumas under POA or Donald Dumas by Carla Dumas POA in fact, or Donald Dumas by Carla Dumas, POA.
You are badly in need of expert education in how to act as POA. So go online and start to read, learn what you can there, then to an attorney. Your POA allows you to be paid for this advice. It is important to get his accounts set up correctly.
And of course NONE of this can be done unless and until he legally no longer competent to act for himself or in his own behalf.
No, he doesn't have any other assets. No house, car, property, or retirement fund, 401K, etc. These were decisions that he made even though he was able to do otherwise.
He is definitely not able to do anything in his behalf, and he has seen specialists who have diagnosed him with mixed dementia. His mother and grandmother also had dementia, and thankfully there were family members at that time who could care for them, but they have passed and now, years later, the family is considerably smaller, so for the first time we are facing decisions we didn't have to make before.
There is a lot to learn, but we are feeling a bit more optimistic about getting him the care he needs. Thank you for your input.
good luck!
We are looking into all options. Some of his existing health problems have definitely gotten worse since his stroke last year, and skilled nursing will become inevitable, sooner rather than later. He prefers to remain in the house he is renting, and thinks the care he receives now isn't necessary, although there is a long list of things he can no longer do for himself. It's a struggle to get him to comply with his doctors' orders, and we feel as if he'll be kicking and screaming when it's time to go to a facility. We'd like to avoid that, of course.
Thanks!
I would encourage you to see an elder law attorney that can help you understand how your state requires that a POA signs to ensure they don't put themselves on the hook financially.
Thanks again!