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Ken has been enjoying the act of deer hunting for most of his adult life. He puts together his own tree stands or buys them. He has never killed a deer—mostly enjoys going out in nature and being a woodsman. For our 1st Christmas 20 years ago I bought him a gun cabinet. He feels he can still safely get in his tree stands and not injure himself or others. Either with bow and arrows or shotgun. How do I handle this. He has his mind set that he will deer hunt in the fall. Do I just remove all his hunting gear from our home?

I always told my children that they should evaluate their behavior by whether or not I, the mother, would want to be interviewed on television concerning what they had done. They knew I didn't want to be the mom that said "I'm so terribly sorry to all the families he just hurt with his behavior. I know that nothing I can do or say will help this tragedy." That is the position you have to imagine - if your husband continues to drive or have access to guns or go deer hunting with gun or bow and arrow something could go terribly wrong and you'd be the wife saying "Well, I know his doctor told me not to let him do this but I thought that just this last time was ok and I'm so, so sorry that this has happened." This will be one of the really hard moments at the beginning of a really hard road but you must take away all access to guns, bows and arrows, cars, trucks.... You may find someone who will just sit in the deer stand and enjoy the moment, or change to taking long hikes in nature but any idea of "one more time" is dangerous. He isn't the one who can or should make this decision.
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Don’t ever let your husband drive again.,Take the keys away and let him sit in the car.,Let him go sit in the car whenever he wants but don’t give him the keys.,My husbands Uncle had the early stages of Alzheimer’s and him and his wife took their best friends out for dinner. My husbands Uncle was driving. The Aunt knew he shouldn’t be driving but she let him. On the way home from the restaurant the Uncle got into a car accident and killed his best friends that were both sitting in the back seat. The Uncle and the Aunt were both fine. The Uncle went into a home for Alzheimer’s and the AUNT was SUED by the best friends adult children!!!! So please, don’t let him drive and kill someone, it might be you he kills.
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BethS12 Aug 9, 2020
Thx That is a tragic story...sorry for all involved. DH has accepted not driving, though me having to do all the driving adds to my load. He still is and desires to be active. Someone suggested the idea of disabling his weapons so they would be unable to harm others. I never heard of that before.😉 I have no interest in hunting but like the idea of ‘capturing’ deer/nature in pictures.
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There are people who would rather die than stop hunting. And then they do stop. I’ve known a couple of guys who were hunting, preparing to hunt or just came back from hunting who took up fishing and would choose that over hunting. My son lives to fish. Always did although he used to work the hunting in as well.
Photography is what another switched to. This will be hard for him and you. I’m sorry you are dealing with it. Perhaps you can find a support group in your area where others have dealt with the same.
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FloridaDD Aug 9, 2020
Really great ideas.   Tell DH you want him to go up to his blind and take pictures so you can be part of his life.
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How do you handle this? You call the person who said dh can not drive nor hunt and have them put it in writing. Have them report to whom ever issues hunting licenses and driver's licenses in your Province or State, that dh's licenses must be pulled.

Dementia is a terrible thing, it takes away a person's autonomy and ability to reason by inches.

Personally I would not have guns in the house if there is a demented or mentally ill adult in the home.
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BethS12 Aug 9, 2020
Thx my feeling has been that DH should not continue to have his identity stolen from. He still is and desires to be active. He has accepted not driving, though me having to do all the driving adds to my load. Someone suggested the idea of disabling his weapons so they would be unable to harm others. I never heard of that before.😉 I have no interest in hunting but liked an idea someone else gave to ‘capture’ deer/nature in pictures.
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My 98 YO FIL is a lifetime hunter, as are my hubs and his cousin. A few ( 6 or so) years ago FIL still wanted to go,, but really could not physically. So the "boys" took him out on the 4 wheeler, with no gun, but a stool to sit on. They set him all up with a water bottle and he helped "drive the deer in" . He still felt like he was hunting,, but no gun so no damage. He has fallen off the stool a few times,, but since they knew where they parked him it was easy to get him. Maybe this is an option? Its hard for them to lose their dignity and hobbies.. And no, they did not let the 4 wheeler near him..
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BethS12 Aug 9, 2020
Thx my feeling has been that DH should not continue to have his identity stolen from. He still is and desires to be active. He has accepted not driving, though me having to do all the driving adds to my load. I like the ideas of making his weapons unable to harm others. I never heard of that before.😉 I have no interest in hunting but liked an idea someone to ‘capture’ deer/nature in pictures.
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I hope others come forward on here too. I know Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease. But if he is already told he can’t hunt or drive, I wouldn’t let him. I would be uneasy with him around a gun. He could accidentally kill himself or someone else. I would take the guns away since he is losing his mind. At the very least, get rid of the ammunition.
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When my grandfather was diagnosed with dementia, the first thing we did was remove all the guns from the house.

At first we thought we'd just unload them all and take all the bullets. But then we worried he would be outside waving a gun around, and police aren't going to know it's unloaded. He was having hallucinations of people looking in the window, or people in the yard, and we were afraid he'd try to shoot them. He gave up driving after his ophthalmologist said he was done. But he was mad about his guns being gone until the day he died. "But I need them if someone breaks in!" was his argument... they lived in a very safe neighborhood with the police station not 5 minutes away!

Maybe if he has someone with him, he can sit in a deer stand without any sort of ammo (including bow and arrow, yikes!). Just to have the experience of being in nature. He doesn't need all those guns if he hasn't ever shot a deer, really.
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Patathome01 Aug 11, 2020
Yes, how about just deer watching?
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He has no intention of killing a deer if he takes a shotgun to hunt with.

I would get someone to load his ammo as blanks and let him go hunting.

I don't ever want to take away activities that give my loved ones something to look forward to. I figure if it kills them at least they died happy.

Please work with someone that can disable the bow and load blanks to ensure that he doesn't hurt anyone and let him build his blinds and sit out in nature feeling like the man he was.

Doctors don't know everything, regardless of what they think. They don't consider our overall wellbeing, most just want to use us as science experiments.

Help your husband continue to have some quality of life and forget about quantity.
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FloridaDD Aug 9, 2020
I think the quantity of OTHER's lives is why doctors advise patients to stop driving or hunting.   Unless you are 100% confident he will not shoot, I would not do this.
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Remove guns and ammo. Leave the other items alone for now. I have a good friend who is dealing with this very same issue with her dad. He's in his mid 70s so not ready to give up either. There is no turning back on this. He would not want to be dangerous if he could make a decision. Same for any motor vehicles, including mowers or golf carts. Locate the keys to each and don't give them to your husband.
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BethS12 Aug 9, 2020
Thx my feeling has been that DH should not continue to have his identity stolen from. He still is and desires to be active. Still very much mentally aware that he thinks he can make his own decisions. He has accepted not driving, though me having to do all the driving adds to my load. I have no interest in hunting but liked an idea someone to ‘capture’ deer/nature in pictures.
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Can you get second opinion? Did he get brain MRI? Hugs 🤗
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