My MIL moved here two weeks ago, and it has been pandemonium! She has a very strong southern accent, hard to understand her often. She was recently widowed in early 2024 by husband (80).
We helped find her a house here before she moved. Cute house with a reasonable price. She stayed at our house the first 13 days waiting for movers and getting some things ready.
She is a drinker and on the third night staying in her own house, she got hammered and fell off the back steps, ended up breaking her left arm and wrist badly. instead of calling us she drove herself to the ER at 230 am. These types of injuries happen once every couple of years with her and ALWAYS after drinking.
We have two kids, full time jobs, sports etc. and barely have any extra time. She didn’t weed her stuff out before moving here and now she has a whole arm out of commission, and I will have to spend every little free moment unpacking a ton of junk since she got drunk and fell. I am feeling so resentful, I’m crying just dreading what is to come. I can already feel our marriage hitting a low point because it never ends with her and now, she is in the same town. Help me please. My husband has buried his head in the sand yet again. I feel so alone in this. He set up a tee time to golf in am and I am going there to try to put some of the junk away and listen to her complain about how many things she doesn’t like about the house. I feel so bitter.
The nerve of him going golfing and expecting you to go over and do the unpacking . Tell him to cancel . That you aren’t going over alone to bail out this drunk , and listen to her complain.
Do not prop up this woman . Let her fall down in more ways than one .
You and your husband should go to Al-Anon meetings and a marriage counselor . Your lives should not be upended by her alcoholism .
Writing it down helps many people.
When we re-read what we wrote it can start a process of looking with fresh eyes. Does anything leap out already?
Says who? No, you don’t.
Your husband can. You will not, cannot! You need to draw the line in the sand NOW. Before long she could pull the “It’s better if I live with you” and your husband moves her in!
She could live another 20, 30 years. You have got to stand up NOW.
You have your own life. She is not your mother and not your problem. She will keep having accidents like this since she is a drunk and has no intentions of stopping. Tell her and husband that you will help when she completes a full in-facility rehab. She won’t of course, so you are going to focus on your home, your job, and your kids. As you ought. Let husband handle her. He keeps his head in the sand because he expects you to deal with her. And you are flat out not able to do it. If you start doing for her now, she (and husband) will expect you to rush to her aid any time she acts a fool.
Husband better cancel that tee time. Even if he doesn’t, you are not going to her house tomorrow. Or ever. They’ll complain and try to guilt you… do not bend!