My MIL moved here two weeks ago, and it has been pandemonium! She has a very strong southern accent, hard to understand her often. She was recently widowed in early 2024 by husband (80).
We helped find her a house here before she moved. Cute house with a reasonable price. She stayed at our house the first 13 days waiting for movers and getting some things ready.
She is a drinker and on the third night staying in her own house, she got hammered and fell off the back steps, ended up breaking her left arm and wrist badly. instead of calling us she drove herself to the ER at 230 am. These types of injuries happen once every couple of years with her and ALWAYS after drinking.
We have two kids, full time jobs, sports etc. and barely have any extra time. She didn’t weed her stuff out before moving here and now she has a whole arm out of commission, and I will have to spend every little free moment unpacking a ton of junk since she got drunk and fell. I am feeling so resentful, I’m crying just dreading what is to come. I can already feel our marriage hitting a low point because it never ends with her and now, she is in the same town. Help me please. My husband has buried his head in the sand yet again. I feel so alone in this. He set up a tee time to golf in am and I am going there to try to put some of the junk away and listen to her complain about how many things she doesn’t like about the house. I feel so bitter.
Also, I wouldn't under any circumstances allow the kids to be alone with her. She is an alcoholic. Your kids don't need to be exposed to that. You might think that it's all right, but the resultant behaviors can be confusing and difficult for a child to observe. I speak from personal experience because my parents thought it was okay for me to be around my grandfather who drank. They should have protected me from that horrific scenario. Maybe you think it's okay for the kids because she only drinks at night or something like that, but an addict is always looking forward to the next hit. The mood is up, down, they can get aggressive because they're agitated, they forget things they promised and see the kids as their enablers ("get me my cigarettes, hon"). All looks perfectly normal but isn't. And they change when other adults are around, so you don't get the full picture.
I totally sympathize with your situation. But please protect your kids.
Me, I don't like drunks. I can tolerate happy ones but not the nasty ones. I agree that your children should not be exposed to this.
I dodged the bullet when my MIL moved 15 hrs away. Of her sons, my DH was the one that did for her. Probably because he was there and if not doing anything why not do for her. When in-laws lived here she called my DH and asked if he could do something for her. Within a minute the phone rang and FIL said to stop DH because he could do what she wanted. My MIL and I had a fight 4 yrs into my marriage. DH was golfing. When she returned to my house to apologize my DH told her the problem we fought over was his fault. He stood up for me. Thats when she found out I was #1. Thats what your DH needs to do. Make Mom realize that that his family is #1. Tell him its OK to set boundaries. "Sorry Mom can't do it now Bobby hasva game."
By the way, I never loved my MIL. I got along with her and respected her because she was my DHs mother. But she lied about me and took anything I said and twisted it to make her look good. I stopped visiting their house unless my DH was with me. Visiting 1x a year was enough once they moved.