My 63 year old brother is being discharged from hospital to hospice. He is at the end stages of alcoholism. He his cirrhosis, not much (if any) kidney function, cannot swallow, keeps pulling out his feeding tube, and is confused and hallucinating.
His wife doesn't want him back in their home. It's been up and down with them but recently she said she is done. She called me today and said Medicare won't cover the cost of an inpatient hospice facility, but will cover in-home hospice care. I am familiar with hospice as my husband died of cancer in 2010. I told her I am willing to speak to the doctor or whomever will plan the hospice protocol because I may be able to ask questions and get more information about what specifically will be done to keep him comfortable. I cannot and will not care for him.
My 85 year old mother cannot care for him. His son, my nephew, may be able to but not sure what that may look like. He is married and has a small child. My brother has another adult son who is unable to care for him because he has special needs. His adult daughter and he are estranged and have been for sometime.
I spent a fair bit of time in Al Anon and certainly believe in detachment with love. I didn't cause it, cannot control or cure his alcoholism. No magic wand here. I need to take care of myself, which I suppose my sister in law (wife) is doing.
Any suggestions are appreciated. Just not sure what to do, if anything. His alcoholism is life-long, but the negative aspects have exacerbated in the past five years or so. He and current wife have been married about ten years. It's been a roller coaster for some time.