60 year old parent won't take care of herself. What's the age and signs it's time for assisted living?

Follow
Share

My mom is 60 and as of now she lives with her boyfriend who isn't in the best of shape. Anyway she's never lived on her own, she can't take care of herself that well, or manage money. She is on disabilty does have some minor health issues. I was just wondering what's the age and signs it's time for her to go to a place to help her. People tell me assisted living. Thank you

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
5

Answers

Show:
Age alone is not a sign. Some folks stay in their homes well into their 90s, while others must enter a residential setting many decades earlier.

(Full Disclosure: I'm 61.)

The Sign is ... can she live (relatively) safely in her own home and community? For example ...

-- How is her mobility? Can she walk and/or perform normal activities safely (even with a walker or scooter)?
-- Is she a safe driver?
-- Can she perform daily tasks sufficiently? (Not necessarily excellently.)
-- Are ER visits few and far between, because she doesn't need them?

If so, she may still need some help with finances, and that can be accomplished *without* residential placement, or uprooting *your* life ... but ... only *IF* she's willing to accept such help. And if she's not willing, that's NOT your problem. You are under NO obligation to clean up her life.

THAT SAID ... Please tell us more about your SPECIFIC concerns. That will help us provide better answers.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

How did she manage to raise you? Did your father do it all?

Someone who has made it to age 60 with a disability is not totally helpless and unable to function. What is your biggest concern for her?
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

How is she on disability, but, has only minor health issues? I'd encourage her to see an attorney about what rights she may have. Sometimes, people who are disabled have more access to care. Some states have programs where they help those who need Assisted Living, if they qualify financially and a doctor prescribes it.

However, if she isn't interested in help, I'm not sure how you can force it on her. As long as she is competent, it would be up to her to apply for assistance.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Um, she's 60? I think that is pretty young to be thinking of Assisted Living. I'm 61 and I'm still working and running a household.....I can't even fathom being out in ALF.

What is her real "problem"? The BF? Drugs and/or alcohol? These days 60 is considered to be kind of the prime of life.

You can't force your mom to do anything. Unless she's declared incompetent--which is pretty hard to do. Being on disability is not unusual and it's not a sign she's incompetent.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Autum, first of all, Assisted Living can cost between $4k to $7k per month, yes per month, would Mom be able to budget for that expense?

Age has nothing to do with whether a person needs to go into skilled care. My parents didn't go into skilled senior living until they were in their 90's.

Now if your Mom is still clear of mind, she can make her own choices. If she wants to live the way she does, that is up to her. If your Mom had serious memory issues, then she would qualify for a skilled "nursing facility" paid for by Medicaid [which is different from Medicare], or if her disability is to a point that she is bedridden or needs physical help to get around. Your Mom would need to apply for Medicaid, each State has their own programs.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions