Follow
Share

We placed my dad in a facility Feb. 12 that specializes in Alzheimers and dementia. I love the place, the staff, and the other residents. I have guardianship of my dad.
My dad has had 2 altercations with a different resident - the kindest man who is pleasantly confused, always friendly and smiling. The 1st time my dad closed a door on this man he had to get stitches in his head. The 2nd time, most recently on Sunday, my dad pushed this poor man down and he is covered in bruises.
I am ashamed and heart broken for the other resident.
My dad refuses to take medication that will calm and help him and the facility has given us a 30 day notice to relocate my father.
I am exhausted, sad, still grieving the loss of my mom, (trying to plan an estate sale at their house 2000 miles away) angry, frustrated... you name it. I know I'm not alone here with all this.
My main issue now is if I can't find a facility that is no fault - because he is going to stay mad and refusing medication - then what???

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing

9 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
How about asking the facility if forced medication would stop the eviction?You stated you have guardianship? Is that judge ordered physical guardianship and not just a POA? If so, you have the right to choose how to give the meds. Pharmacy order or have compounded liquid meds. Add them to his food or liquids. Ativan, Xanax, and others come in liquid form. I suggest discussing with the facility what your options are for medicating him under the guardianship and skip the pill fight altogether. Under most guardianship rulings, the ward loses their rights to self determination and consent. That includes prescribed medications. You just need to find and coordinate with the facility a different distribution method that doesn't require physical restraint.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Most facilities will not take a resident that has had violent outbursts within a specific time period (many are 90 days without incident)
Your dad will have to begin taking medication that will help control the anxiety, anger that he has. He no longer has a say about it.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
I agree with Alva. He needs to be in a place where they can force meds. Other people should not have to suffer because he is refusing meds.

I like Barb’s suggestion of acquiring psychiatric help for him. Hopefully, once he is stable, he can return to a facility and live in harmony with the other residents in his facility.

Best wishes to you and your father.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
OP, you are the guardian. Time to speak with Dad's MD. He may now need a neuro-psyc unit in an SNF with forced medication.

There is little that can be done in situations like this without a full time one on one aid, something that almost no one can afford over time.

I am so very sorry, and sorry really that you are guardian as sometimes State guardianship is better in these few sad cases requiring forced medication for violent behavior.

See Dad's MD now.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
So he assaulted and injured another paying guest. Did you get calls on the days of his violent behaviors, especially if he was refusing meds? The immediate trigger is a trip to the ED for emergency psych evaluation. Who is at fault for dropping the ball? The facility or you? If you were not immediately told, then you need to make sure of notification immediately upon the act.
Also all similar care facilities might be subject to the same state rules.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
AlvaDeer avatar
A
AlvaDeer Jun 14, 2023
Memory care facilities often will not care for violently acting out patients who refuse medication. Unless the family can afford full time aids the contracts with most memory care facilities clearly spell out the rules.
Things are different with some nursing homes, but they would also have a medicated patient. So our OP is in big trouble for which there is no good answer but forced medication. As we know with many medications the result can be someone almost non-functional.
(3)
Report
If your father is refusing meds, he needs to be involuntarily committed to a psych hospital, preferably one that specializes in seniors.

Without meds, he can no longer be managed in a "general population" environment.

Asked the SW for help in arranging that transfer.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report
You could try to insist that the staff social worker help you to locate a different facility. This is what a daughter of a mother in the last facility my mother was in when her mother constantly went into other residents rooms and took many of their belongings. The staff would always retrieve them but it was a constant occurrence. The daughter wanted her mother placed in MC but the staff insisted she stay in SN due to a medical issue they felt could not be helped in MC. Don't know the final outcome because my mother passed away 6 weeks ago. That woman was 98 and very mobile but totally gone mentally. A real nightmare. I constantly insisted that all my mother's belongings be returned to her room which they were. The hospice nurse even assisted in retrieving items and would ask this woman if she had taken anything.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Just as a 2 yr old diabetic child needs their insulin whether they agree or not he needs these meds for his mental health and to ensure he is not a danger to himself or others. Your dad is in a memory care facility because he no longer has the capability to make wise decisions or care for himself, how is it that he "refuses to take medication that will calm and help him"? Does he refuse every other medication, vitamin, supplement or is this specific to mood altering drugs?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
yungstdaughter avatar
Y
yungstdaughter Jun 14, 2023
Yes, he refuses every medication including Vitamin D, he cheeks the meds and then spits them out. he refused to allow the med passer and nurse put the patch on him and as I previously stated - he is physically (and verbally) abusive. Hence the 30 day notice. The facility my father is at will not physically or chemically restrain residents in order to administer medication.
(1)
Report
Sorry to hear about this mess. You do have a challenge on your hands, my step-mother in memory care threw temper tantrums in the dining room while in AL and we moved her to MC, there she punched some man in the face. Not good.

She is now on meds and we just had to increase the dose. If she did not calm down she would have to be placed in a home that specializes with patients who are mentally ill, so far so good she is behaving.

Unfortunately that is where he might have to go.

Have you tried hiring someone to give additional care, sometimes that will help, he may start to trust this person and begin to co-operate. IDK just a thought.

Wish I had more to offer, hopefully, others will.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter