2 ER visits within 2 months; is it time for assisted living?


I've been living with my mom for about a year, but I work so most of the time we have in home caregivers stay with her during the day. She recently had a couple of ER visits, both of which have made me nervous to leave her alone at all. The first ER visit she had a seizure, more recently she tripped, fell and bleed all over the kitchen from a head would. These were close calls that could have been much more dire.

The catch here is that she's only 62. Last weekend I took a tour of an assisted care facility specializing in dementia and Alzheimer's, but no other residents were anywhere near her age. I left feeling like it's way to early to go that route, but I don't know. There's also the cost as well; it seems like I'm gambling with an assumption she will die before her money runs out. It's a terrible way to think, but I'm stuck between trying to make sure she has the care she needs while making sure she won't run out of money, (which I have no clue what would happen at that point!)

What do others do when someone gets dementia so early?

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Agree. My mom was in AL but needed 'stepped up' care. Even though the AL said they could do the extra care (at extra cost) she really needed to be in memory care where the ratio is lower - more caregivers/resident - and they are more equipped to provide that extra care needed even if the resident wasn't severally impacted mentally. Better than skilled nursing. I've been to every skilled nursing facility in our area and none are great. Memory care is better - give that a try. Good luck and take care!
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Reply to Catgetsdown

My advice is create a criteria for an assisted living facility. Not an emotional criteria. If she gets close to that criteria than begin to weigh your options. With my mom I have a criteria in my head when assisted living facility conversation would begin. And on a scale of 1 to 100 she's prob a 3 on some days a 1. There's some days when she's not even on the scale she doing so well. There were some days months ago where she was at 20 or 25. But on scale of 1 to 100. On average she's never been more than a 4. For me 100. Is when the assisted living facility convo begins. She's doing very well.
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Reply to Rbonuc2999

Since this AL specializes in Dementia it may be a good choice. How far into the Dementia is Mom? Does the AL separate the Dementia patients from the other residents. At Moms they didn't. I really didn't think that was fair to the ones who were sharp. Now the other AL in town separated their residents. The Dementia section was separate from the other residents. It was a little too costly for Mom.

But please don't think she won't fall. The only way to prevent it would to be in a wheelchair most of the time. But there would be someone there in case of a seizure. Find out if they have the ability to test for UTIs.

By placing her in an AL she will have more interaction with people. They have activities. They will do her laundry. She will have 3 meals a day. Her meds regularly. Some of your worry will be gone. Dementia worsens over time.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Another option is to look into adult day care in your area, there are some excellent programs that would keep her occupied and safe.
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Reply to cwillie

Even though they may agree to take your mother I'm not convinced that most ALs are prepared to care for those with dementia. Look into memory care instead of a regular AL, there will be a possibility of others her age there and even if there aren't there will be programs geared to those with dementia and the staff will have extra training in it - I'm often appalled at how clueless (or perhaps indifferent) some of the staff at my mom's nursing home are.

(There is a woman about that age in mom's nursing home and I've learned to let my eyes slide past her because otherwise it would break my heart - she stands by the nurse's station unoccupied and alone all day every day.... I wish she could be somewhere that she could have a little care, attention and as much stimulation as possible)
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Reply to cwillie
shad250 Aug 25, 2018
Nurses at NH are probably too busy to fuss with that lady.