Mom is 102. She's perhaps a bit unique in that the majority of the time she is mentally sharp. We've seen "cracks" for years, but it's never moved on to full dementia. Perhaps it's creeping there slowly but OMG...it's likely she'll turn 103 in October. She's definitely slowing down but no true signs that the end is near. Sigh.
She's at home and is fortunate to be able to afford 24/7 care. Her bedroom is now in her living room, and she loves to cook, so now she gets wheeled to the kitchen on occasion, and though she cannot do much, she chops things up and basically points and directs and her favorite caregivers to help her cook. Cute right?
Yes, until she has "vivid thinking." That's what I'll call it. Out of nowhere, she told us that there was a fire in stove, and if it weren't for her caregiver, the whole house could have gone up. She told of melting plastic and using towels to extinguish the flames....a whole elaborate story...that never happened. If the caregiver tells her gently that it didn't happen, she basically thinks that the caregiver "forgot" that it happened.
How would you handle this? I know all about not arguing, and "meeting them where they are," but it seems wrong to perpetuate this fantasy that never happened. Like I said she's often sharp in her thinking, so diverting her to another topic doesn't work as well as it might with a person who is more fully advanced in dementia. For now, there's the "this person stole something, someone came in my kitchen and cooked last night without permission..." so more vivid stories than "typical" more progressive dementia behavior. Every now and then she'll accuse a less favorite caregiver of doing things that the caregiver didn't do.
I thought of having her visiting nurse one day "explain" to her that she has some vascular decline that could cause vivid thinking, as a way to somehow suggest to her that she's having a vivid thinking episode, when these things happen. Have also thought of getting her on an anti-anxiety med to at least help her be a bit calmer when that thinking occurs....?
At 94, my Mom was crying in the morning, had occassional delusions, paranoia and negativity (this last one was part of her personality her whole life). Her primary put her on the lowest dose of Lexapro and it has helped her a lot, no more crying in the morning. She hasn't had a delusion and her paranoia is greatly decreased. She's 96 now and still in her home with the help of aids and me (l live next door).
No to having anyone "explain" anything to her. Now you use distraction, redirection, and therapeutic fibs to move her past those rough spots. Even if she continues to return to it, don't take the bait. But if the majority of her waking hours are rough spots, she would probably benefit from the right medication in the right dosage.