You know you are a caregiver if.....

You look forward to seeing what Vanna is wearing tonight

you just hear that both sisters are off to cape verde for holidays together and you want to tear thier heads off and run out the door screaming your head off.

You dread instead of rejoice about her 80th Birthday dinner tonight because "sister" will be there.

In an effort to keep up with soiled bedding, you buy laundry detergent in 50 gallon barrels!

.....when you nickname the person CUJO....

...when you say your night time prayers, you let God know that if He takes you first, it's OK....

Lol, assandache, I look at yachts for sale sometimes... they're so beautiful, so out of reach, so representative of a life I don't have and almost certainly never will but its so much fun to look at these million dollar (and up) creations and just picture a sunny day off the coast of Monaco....................

You spend hours on TripAdvisor planning vacations you'll never go on....

Every time you go into any store you look at what you can buy your loved one .... Anything that might bring a smile to their face!!

Oh Alison...I can so relate to your post. I can laugh now but at the time no way. I spent hours dealing with customer service because mom would agree to a bundle for phone, internet, and Tv service. What a nightmare trying to get it reversed because mom could not learn new skills.

You witness your dad on the phone having a frustrating, disjointed conversation about what channels the TV should get, and why can't he get channel 48, and after he slams the phone down twice and then redials the customer service center, you ask "Dad, can I help you with something?" and spend the next hour with online chat for AT&T UVerse sorting out exactly why your dad doesn't get channel 48 (because it isn't offered in our zip code for whatever reason) and he's satisfied and grateful for your help.

Not a funny story, but just thought I'd put a post on this thread again and see if anyone else out there has any funnies to add.

You just smile, shake your inside head when told the reason the neighbor has workers painting his house is so they could witness a burglary of another neighbor. OMG! This wasn't mom, but her husband. His reasoning is further gone than I realized.

Now that is strictly twilight zone.

You try to open to the closet and she says " I will open the door when my panties are up."

Brightbod, I agree with going to another part of the house if only for a few minutes. My guilt only lasts those few minutes though.

You know you are a caregiver if you are no longer bothered by the fact they are forgetting, it is the least of your worries...

You go to a part of the house they can't get to and pretend you can't hear them calling you, even if for just a few minutes to be alone. :( and then feel super guilty for the rest of the day and make them a special little dessert or something to make it up to them...

You wonder if there is some way for you to get paid as a family caregiver.

I found a great website this morning when searching for states that permit family caregivers being paid. This link will take you to a document that provides contacts within states that permit the payment for family caregivers.

http://www.pascenter.org/documents/paid_family_caregiver_programs.pdf

you buy groceries based on how well you can blend it in a blender

you have a hole in your lounge pants and don't mind....in fact, you enjoy the little extra freedom of movement.

you don't use a mirror to apply makeup anymore...IF you apply makeup at all....

You’re a caregiver when you become a professional diaper changer and the smell is no longer THAT annoying, and you will adapt to some of the elderly behaviors even though they are disgusting.

You know you are a caregiver if you see your elderly father's man parts more often than you see your husband's (boyfriend's).

when you no longer care if your socks don't match. Hey if mom can sport em, so can I !

You are clearly out of control was a sarcastic comment aimed at the SW not labeling you "out of contol" Sorry if it came over wrong. You are clearly very much in control given the evil surrounding you. Keep on fighting You certainly have my support. the professionals you have to deal with are certainly in an incestuous group. I see it all the time in our small city. Tiime to chenge my location.

You wear the same two outfits over and over and over again, wear your hair in a ponytail (if you style it at all) and have forgotten how to put on your own makeup.

You look forward to a 10 minute run to the dollar store the same way you used to look forward to an evening out on the town with friends.

When your father, in frustration, throws the cordless phone across the room. And now you finally have peace and quiet because he can no longer call people at all hours of the night (can't tell if it's day/night). For the rest of the night, you won't need to stress about the poor people he's waking up. The phone is safely lying on the floor.

Unfortunately, this morning, he accused me of of throwing it. Why would he throw the phone? I'm trying to blame him for it. sigh... our lot as caregivers..stealers, liars, and trying to make them crazy by 'tricking them.'

The SW threatens to file guardianship papers on you! you are clearly out of control

…you are eating dinner 4-4 30 pm instead of 6-7 to accommodate someone else bedtime schedule