You know you are a caregiver if.....

Veronica, that is as in hockey phuck, correct?

When you spend four hours in the ER thinking there must be an intestinal blockage again. You thank your lucky stars that is not the problem, only to find out it is constipation with Mom who has had chronic diarrhea as long as I can remember. The probiotic helped with the D, but has she now forgotten how to go poop? It has always just poured out. :/

You find a new spelling "Phuck" Now can that offend anybody?

Smeltzer, I know it's no fun, but thank you for sharing a laugh. When we stand back and look, it makes it so much easier than when we're in the thick of it.

You apparently have been making her sleep on the floor, and because you sold the house she is going to live in potter's field and my father is going to be very upset...the thing that happen around here after midnight.

HAAA! When you thank your lucky stars there is such a thing as concealer. Those taking coumadin, bruise easily, even in areas of the eye. Well, L has a black eye, finally talked Mom into the tub, while I put concealer around his eye. She wanted to rush him to the doctor. What, no doctors today?! While in the tub, she continued to worry about the eye. Finally told her that I called the pharmacy they told me to put ice on it, and it looks much better! Mom was quite relieved to find the black eye nearly gone after her bath. All forgotten now!

PHEW, never would have been able to get her to bed tonight! Thank you, concealer, and for being here in the house!

You get as excited about a butt load of the right kind of diapers and barrier cream as you used to would have a new Mercedes convertible.

You get called to her room at 2am...and ask where her horse is.

When my mom says "where's my daughter" to me as I am sitting right next to her talking with her.:( so sad

You refer to yourself in the third person as you listener does not know you...

You know you are a caregiver if:
you are doing damage control, because the hospital, let your love one wear a diaper for incontinence, when your loved one no longer has the voice of reason and just agrees with whatever they (the nurses and doctors) suggest.

She really had them hopping, of course that chapter is now over...you are home now, hahahahahahaha (a Vincent Price laugh! on thriller).

You know you are a caregiver if you are up still up at 12:10AM,
waiting for the oxygen service to show up,
so you can finally go to bed. What a long day!

It is 90 degrees outside but still need to turn on the space heater in the bathroom when helping with the shower.

Sweating over here!

When she gets really stressed out about her TV not working and you go there and discover that the TV is perfectly fine, she was just pressing the wrong button. Same with the microwave. When she has problems with the garage door and you discover that she stands under the door when she's trying to get it to close and you have to explain to her that the door is programmed not to close if someone or something is under it. When she says, for the gazillionth time, that you need to do things for her because your siblings are "too busy" to do it.

Yes, on the DISH in Chicago we get the PBS channel 56 WYIN from Indiana,
I am on vacation(one of the daughters) since Friday night, it would figure to get the call letters, Lawrence Welk just started, tonight they are doing an instrumental medley of the Sound of Music, when I see this show, it reminds me of my grandmother (1907-1990) this was our favorite time together, I do not get my 87 year old until tomorrow night...It has been a good couple of days...I like Glenn Miller, Benny Goodman but those radio stations have all but disappeared...

Lwen, I didn't know LW was on Sundays!! How wonderful. If I was smart I would buy some of the cd's and DVD's to play on those difficult nights.

Does anybody know is there a machine that will play back DVD's or CD's that also displays picture and easy operation and light weight? Or maybe a service that has some of these classic shows. Mom would just love any recording of Glenn Miller, Benny Goodman, etc...

when you have the TV set to her fav programs, including Sat. Sun. episodes of Lawrence Welk.

when it is always Tuesday, April, and the year 2002, but Obama is the president???

If you go on vacation and have to pack 3x as much stuff for your Mom as you do for yourself. And vacation includes finding a motel or vacation rental that is both handicap-accessible for Mom and accepts dogs (which can mean major searching or paying a much higher price than normal). You spend your vacation week waking up 4x per night to get Mom back into bed after her bathroom trip, because she can't get up on the higher-than-her-own bed, and a good part of the day reminding her to go to the bathroom, and then cleaning up the bathroom after she uses it and misses the toilet - again.

....and you would do it all over again, because you know her traveling days are limited and every trip may be her last.

If you have ever walked past a pressure washer in a store and thought " that would work great to wash off Mom's dirty butt"

When you are upset that something is wrong with the d**n audio track on Lawrence Welk tonight!

When youre opening your second pkt of cigs!

When you realize you can never make plans to go out anywhere. Going to the grocery store to buy Depends and tissues is your big day out for the week.

I found out. Mom thought it was Sunday and got ready for church. She came in all dressed and I said, "It's Saturday." She took it well. It was kind of funny. Time runs together when every day is groundhog day.

Jessie,
Or what next!

You wake up to something different and think "what now?"

when you begin to have fun with the sillier behaviors,
because really... this all doesn't make sense...

When people tell you that your talking loud and don't know it!

when you wake up in the morning and wonder if your MIL died in the night because it is way too quiet in the house

vegaslady...lol...I'm a Wheelie too...and that is one half hour during which I do not wish to be trifled with...