You know you are a caregiver if.....

I have read through all of the posts tonight laughing quietly while my husband sleeps. It's been great to have a happy thread like this.
You know you're a caregiver when you just spent the day out with your dad and get back home and he says"what was your name again."

Susan, happens sometimes when I go to bed, too. I think Ma's asleep, I get into bed and pull the covers up, deep breath. Then she calls me. Uncanny. Wikipedia has a definition of Déjà vu that's pretty interesting.

Dee1963...I think you're inside my head. Stop that. LOL

I made myself breakfast this morning, thinking, "Ah, maybe I'll get a few minutes of quiet time to eat and just start recouping from my trip..." - nope. Mom has this uncanny ability to wake up the minute I sit down, and of course, then she wants to eat, because I'm eating.

You know you're a caregiver when you have major guilt about going anywhere for yourself, because you think no one can take care of your loved one like you do. Double-edged sword.

You know you're a caregiver when you tiptoe around the house in the morning and shush the dogs so they don't wake up your loved one...all so you can have 30 minutes and a cup of coffee before starting the day...only to have your loved one call out as soon as you sit down.

(that should have said "...to GET items that were used up...")

You know you're a caregiver when you finally secure a much-needed short break, and nearly kill yourself before you leave making sure everything is ready, food for Mom is prepped for the caregiver just to heat up for easy meals.....only to return and find none of it was used. Which, of course, means you now have to go to the grocery store to use items that were used up when there was plenty to be used already....(sigh)

If a 5 minute break seems like heaven.

if you can get through a shower without hearing your name called.

Glad - I have too much dysfunction in my family to talk about on a daily basis. LOL Most of it is in the past, but it reaches out to grab us now and then. We all deal with it in different ways - obviously one of my siblings deals with it by going into complete denial about everything. I think I posted my story there quite some time ago.

You know you're a caregiver when you dread when the parent comes home from the hospital for over a week stay. You wonder what mess you need to correct in which the hospital slacked off from doing. Like red hot rashes on the parent's private areas and/or back. The same applies when you go off for retreat - and don't know what health conditions you will be facing when you get home. Just do your best to shrug it off and deal with it when it's time. Needless to worry and ruin your reprieve.

Susan, I understand completely and wonder why I don't see you on the dysfunctional thread. Many of us have aiblings that have no idea, prefer their world of denial, and just want the fairy tale life.

Great you got out and saw your son. These really are bittersweet breaks. And then all the nonsense that happens while we are gon almost doesn't make it worth getting out in the first place.

You know you are caregiver if you are really concerned that the house will be still standing, with parents in place when you return.

Shoot, I sent that too soon - I completely understand what Glad is saying about the sibs learning more about what we deal with on a daily basis. Sis 1 spent most of one day with Mom and now completely understands what I'm dealing with - or at least some of it. She tried to get Mom to go to the bathroom and she wouldn't go. Tried to push the issue gently, and got snapped at. End result? Mom wouldn't go to the bathroom while she was there. Sis 2 visited for a while another day, but is in denial about her decline, and I've been advised by Sis 1 that Sis 2 has told her she "doesn't want to hear about Mom going downhill". Ok then chickie....go back to la la land where no one ever gets old or goes into any sort of decline, while the rest of us deal with reality, and when she passes away, you can have a major emotional breakdown because you refused to face up to the fact that your mother was going downhill.

Sorry, I went off on a tangent there. You know you're a caregiver if you can clean up the worst of the worst without gagging, and can deal with your worst possible phobia (feet and gross toenails!) with only minimal stomach-turning.

GladImHere......that's ME this weekend. Worried about mom all weekend while visiting my son in another state, even though she had a paid caregiver 4 hrs per day, and multiple family visits every day. (Yes, they actually listened to me this time and actually showed up!) Called Mom one day after my arrival here and she was crying and missing me, which made it all the harder for me. The stormageddon kept me away a day longer, and I am headed home tomorrow - but right now, having just said goodbye to my son, whom I haven't seen for a year and a half, and only had 3 days with this weekend, I'm extremely heartsore and really NOT looking forward to the very long drive home tomorrow to go back to the caregiving routine.

Dee, yup, but I went 1.5 years without even a night away. I know some of you have it worse than me. For the last few months I have had one weekend each month. But it is like pulling teeth and accomplishes sibs learning more about what I have been dealing with for 3.5 years!

Glad - wait - you got a weekend off? LOL!

That after a weekend away, all the way back you think that one day you will not come back.

Your even luckier if your caregiver takes pity on you and folds your clothes, just to get them out of the d*mn way, so she can finish moms clothes! Truly, caregiving is more mental than physical...

Hahaha jeanette! Sometimes i get mom dressed but hang out in my same funky grubbies alllll weekend. You know you're a caregiver when your loved one's laundry is done and put away but your own is sitting in a pile (or, if you're lucky, in the dryer).

If i'm going to be 1 minute late I call or text plus apologize profusely ... and of course our lives revolve around it! Haha, however, I am packed and read to GO when the carer arrives so I guess all in all... even? Oh, and Dee... there's been a few times I've got mom dressed and kept my fuzzy flannels on and headed out on errands :)))

Bookluvr you know you're a caregiver when you realize you have a curfew and your life revolves around it. And if you're 5 minutes late you panic and feel tge need to apologize profusely to the paid caregiver. Sheesh.

Jeanette...guess we should be lucky just to get everyone dressed.

p.s. veronica...already happened. You know you're a caregiver when you wonder if that "someone" was kidding or they really think you are 25 years older than you are.

You know you are a caregiver when you realize you have taken your lived one to 6 doctor appointments in 3 months but you haven't been to the doctor in 4 years and can't remember last your last dental appointment.

hahahahahahaha Jeanette....hahahahaha

I don't know what's tragically funnier... the smart phone that can't spell, the caregiver packed and ready to go at 2:59 or... yeegads, OR realizing that I too, have dressed mom and myself alike oh my god

You know you're a caregiver when the phone rings at 11:58am. You answer the phone and the person wants to come in today to discuss her complicated travel plans. Even when you say that you close at 12:00noon. She still wants to come in. You hem and haw.... and finally say with embarrassment that you caregive your bedridden father and you have a 3pm curfew. You glance at the clock, cringe, realizing that to the client, you still have 3 more hours before your curfew. Silence..... You finally offered for her to come in on Monday and you would be happy to help her. To get as much done after work closed, you skip lunch to do as much as you can before 3pm. You arrive home by 3pm and the babysitter is all packed, ready to leave and waiting on the front porch.

You know you are a caregiver when her taxes are done and your's aren't.

You know you are a caregiver when you are moving your mother for the 4th time in 5 years,

Hope no one says "Is that your sister?" Dee!!!!!!!!

Whoa terrible spelling..."smartphone"? Really?

There haven't been any posts for a whike and this is a great topic. You know you're a caregiver when you've realuzed you drwssed your mom and yourself alike. Again.