You know you are a caregiver if.....

You know you are a caregiver when you are typing a comment here and Mom says from the other side of the room. "It's not true dear I never said that" and you realize she is not as demented as you thought she was. Remind your self to change all the passwords.

You are overjoyed when results from the UA culture come back and it shows infection! So, the decline will continue but on a much slower pace than it appeared last week.

Depressing day on AC today. Let's make some laughs to ease the stress.

You know your a caregiver, if you are cooking broccoli or cabbage and the house smells better than it has in weeks!

You WISH they would put up nanny cams, to see how much you do......and deal with.

You go outside in 10 below weather, just to get hear....NOTHING!

You "borrow" your Mom's Valium, once in a while.....ok, more than once in a while.

You keep a stash of chocolate goodies where your diabetic Mom can never find them. (In plain sight, but up a flight of stairs.)

YOUR turn!

You know you are a caregiver when your mom finds the chocs and uses her cane to get them down.

When you are missing all your buds on AC because they too are probably watching the football game.

That's so true about hiding! He really can't "find" anything, but if it's right beside him, he will eat an entire plate of cookies out of boredom.

.. you hear a sound on the TV and worry that it's her crying out or falling ..
.. you watch a training video for nursing aides and out loud, say, "Oh .. sure .. try THAT when they're covered head to toe with BM."
.. the label on the tube of something wore off, you smell it, decide to use it anyway ... and sigh with relief that you didn't just use bengay for hemorrhoids

(just a bit of clarity on that last one .. I'd actually test on myself first .. been there, done that)

you keep checking AC's You know you're a caregiver if thread . . .

or keep the bengay in a completely obscure place so it is not used as toothpaste

and the calamine lotion to keep it from being used as hand lotion, ick!

Or the calamine lotion for Pepto

,..... when you have to put on disposable gloves to take her wine glass to the sink..... what DOES she have in her mouth????

While digging for change in you pocket you pull out rubber gloves, list of meds your wife is on and anti-depressants for your self.

Yourself and parents of young children can have the same conversation. "Into things", "changing diapers", "mashing up food". I know it's sad...but you have to laugh about it or go crazy one.

You've replaced your time on social networks with time in the AC forums :) (and I'm so thankful they're available--such a GREAT resource!)

Some of these are so familiar!
I actually went to speak at a televised City Council hearing in my slippers!

You know you are a caregiver when you are out of the house and people ask you why game show noises are blasting from your iphone, and you nonchalantly inform them that you have the volume turned up on your mothers surveillance camera. LOL.

As an aside for less than a hundred dollars you can actually buy a camera that streams to your phone, for when you leave the house. This has really helped me with the panic I sometimes feel when I have to run errands.

you don't have the heart to tell her the cat doesn't really love her that much,it's just the bengay ingredients are from the catnip family.

You can't remember the last time you took a shower.
You realize you have had the same pair of undies on for 3 days!
You have diapers in your cart every time you go to Walmart.

deefer, i just count giving her a shower as a shower for myself. actually, i think i get wetter than when i have one myself, lol.

You try to explain to the cop at the traffic check why there is an empty syringe on the front seat and Mom is asleep in the back seat with her hands in mittens secured with duct tape. ( the syringe was for liquid morphine)

You wish you had let the cop arrest you

You know you are a caregiver when all your chairs are protected with Chux.

You know you are a caregiver when you keep the fridge locked.

You know you are a paid caregiver when your patient fires you every day but the next day is pleased to see you again

You know you are a caregiver when...

you think you sound like a GPS and it's only you getting 'em through their ADL's.

you ask on their BDay how old are you today,
...and she says, "I don't want to tell you" (cause she doesn't know, bless her)
and I say, "Come on were both women"and she says, "57" (my age, she is 87 yesterday).

and I say your baby's BDay is tomorrow and he is going to be 61
looking shocked and amazed, she says, it doesn't feel like that much.

you only know what day it is when you get her morning meds out of the weekly planner.

when her brother calls, just as she is finishing her dinner, while cleaning her plates you listen as she proceeds to tell him the birthdate, height, and how old each of their 11 other siblings would be now if they were still alive.

she hangs up the phone and asks you; "when are you going to make dinner?"

How do you lock the fridge?

You know you are a caregiver...
when she has more hiding places, than you can find for a candy or cookie tucked somewhere, and you thought you were clever in getting them all thrown out...


We don't have a problem with the fridge, yet....we can't get her to go in...

I agree with BoniChak...You know you're a caregiver if you always have to check out the potty, the floor, the side edge of the toilet paper, the sink...anything that they may have remotely come in contact with during their bathroom visit! If you don't you could end up very embarrassed. ...just saying (:

.... your cold, so you go and throw and extra blanket on your mother.