I was caring for my mother for a little more than 2 years, and my 4 siblings did little to see her or help around her home or large yard before or during that time. Now the problem at hand is that I lost my job in 2012 due to an injury, then was ill and in 2 different hospitals with no insurance.I moved in with my mom to help her and she in return could help me. Mom helped me with my bills, as she had helped all her other children throughout the years. In 2012 before I even moved to her house (around Oct. 2012) ,she had hired a foundation co. to do some work on her house (around August 2012). They apparently were paid in cash and my mom doesn't have any receipt for the work they did. Hence each time large amounts of money were drawn out, my brother thinks it was me. He has called Adult Protective services on me and my mom and done a number of other sneaky things with my sisters help. They didn't even bother to say "hey what happened here,can we check it out?" I have bank statements and other receipts that would show where the money went. I cant account for what happened before I got there.They just assumed it was me stealing and proceeded to torment me. The brother who is instigating this harassment is living in Wisconsin.Is there any way to protect myself from my siblings? They don't seem to care what this is doing to mom. I have RA and the stress is messing with my health also. I've decided to let one of my brothers take over care of my mom and move out. What do you think?

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I think if you can document properly neither your siblings nor DCFS will have any legitimate beef, except maybe the sibling could request better communication going forward. Brother may have really believed you were misuing Mom's funds and that he needed to end around you and protect her - I would say forgive him if his intentions were good; I doubt his primary intention was to "torment you."

Your decision about giving up control and care should not be solely determined by this APS report - you need to put it in perspective and do what is really best for you and your mom. If you think the siblings do not care about Mom, you might regret it terribly. If she will get good care from someone else and you will not be shut out of mom's life, it may be a viable option; but the ideal situation for care is that more than one person provides care on an ongoing basis and some kind of open discussion and collaborative arrangement rather than just making it all-or-nothing deal would make sense.

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