Your elder had been going to the same doctor for decades, yet as soon as you sign in, the gal behind the window hands you a clip board to fill out an application type paperwork, 4 or 5 pages worth.
Good grief. Both my parents had eye issues thus they would need a really big magnifying glass to read anything. My Mom was hard of hearing so I had shout the questions to her, some questions were embarrassing for a waiting room to hear. When I got most of her paperwork done, the nurse would call in my parents to go to the exam room before I even started on my Dad's paperwork. That was sooooo stressful, those gosh darn papers.
So what I decided to do the next time was just write across the page in big lettering "SAME AS BEFORE", had my parents sign it and handed it back to the gal behind the glass window.
Oh and make sure your Elder has his/her Medicare card, secondary insurance card, and photo ID. Make sure it is easy to obtain, not back home in the top desk drawer. Seems like every time we walk into a doctor's office the Staff needed that. Like who is going to pretend to be someone else going to a urologist?
#33.Also, ask your doctor to give you extra specimen containers and requisition slips for urine samples. That way, if you suspect your parent has a urinary tract infection you can obtain sample without the hassle of transporting them to the clinic etc.
My Mom had chronic bladder infections so this saved time.
#33 Feeling a bit punchy here, but this lesson is: nothing you ever are left to choose for them on your own will EVER be right. Chocolates? These are too sticky. Toothbrush? This isn't the same color as the last one. Lotion? This one doesn't smell right.
35: Prepare an emergency folder to accompany you to the elder's doctor's visits and trips to the emergency room! Copies of medical insurance and health care proxy are important to have with you. AND make sure the HIPPA form is signed by your elder at the first visit to allow you to discuss the health issues with the provider. Ditto for health insurance carriers permission forms
36. An elder with dementia often benefits from an evaluation of their mental health by a geriatric psychiatrist. I wish I'd now about this earlier. Depression and anxiety often accompany dementia and are treatable.
If you want to start World War III, taking away one's car keys. It's not easy. But remember when you take away something from an elder you need to give a replacement. Meaning setting up a list of people who can drive the elder. Or a set up with a local taxi company.
#39 If you are Caring for someone 24/7, Find and set up Respite Care, as Soon you will be finding yourself So Burnt out, and in need of a a break, a Long One! Do this several times a yearfor a week or more, and better yet, monthly if possible, for a couple of days!
#40 Keeping with Stacey's above comment. Learn to delegate. Don't ask siblings for help, tell them I need you to do this. Say it with authority. If they start making excuses, say this is your job now, If you can't do it find someone who can and then walk away.
Do not quit a job, leave your home or make large financial decisions without a clear understanding of the consequences. Despite what ANYONE ELSE tells you, Medicare does not pay family members as in-home caregivers. Medicaid does not pay full time hours in most situations and does not pay health care premiums for caregivers. You will need to have a real understanding of your caregivee's finances and do your best to come to a fair arrangement to all parties involved. If a parent insists that you must care for them in their home without financial support, look to their own behaviors as caregivers. Don't be trapped by Fear obligation and guilt into taking on more than you are capable of doing without devastating consequences to yourself.
Do not promise an elder you will never put them into a nursing home.
Usually we make that promise when the elder is still active, still driving, still living at home, meeting friends for lunch, still mowing the lawn and shoveling snow. We cannot picture them being elderly, unable to do for themselves. Oh dear, now what do we do?
It's either bringing in caregivers to help out if you find that caregiving seven days a week for 15 to 20 hours each day is too much to handle... but so many times the elder will slam the door saying no strangers in the house. Or moving to Assisted Living and the elder blocking the way of the moving van demanding to stay in the house because you promised. You feel the guilt.
Have the conversation with the elder while they are able to comprehend the situation. I made it known to my own parents that in their best interest that they should have caregivers. My Dad was all for it, but NOT Mom. Oh dear, we have a problem in the room. I was a senior myself with my own age decline, like who would pick ME up if I fell? So start this conversation early.
#42 UTI in elderly have different symptoms, are life threatening. Learn the symptoms online. Get changes in behavior diagnosed. PUSH for a diagnosis, often missed using a dip-stick urinalysis. NEVER skip a dose of antibiotics, use the entire bottle, or the bladder infection won't clear. Then you will be writing us to ask why your loved one's behaviors are so weird, again.
#43... learn to say "NO" or "I cannot possibly do that".
Oh how I wished I would have learned that years ago. It becomes more difficult as the years roll on. Let your elder know you are not able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, that you aren't faster than a speeding locomotive, and you can't bend steel with your bare hands.
Change can be scary when you get to be 75 or 80, but it can be even scarier when you are in your 90's or developing dementia. Encourage your elders to make the changes now that can help them to avoid the sudden changes that may be the result of a crisis.... living in an accessible, senior friendly home - finding alternatives to driving - accepting outside help - using assistive devices like canes, walkers and hearing aids.
I might add that change can be scary for the kids too. It was so much easier for the family to accept the status quo after my mom became a widow and lost her eyesight than to even think about helping her to sell the family home.
It doesn't necessary mean the house, but the "stuff" [as George Carlin would call it] inside the house.
Yes, an almost impossible task as an elder would like to keep every knick knack they bought since the 1930's. You could try by saying to the Elder there is a hospital rummage sale and they really need donations, plus you get a tax write-off on your income taxes. Or the library is having a used book drive, are there any books you could donate to make others happy.
#45 ~ If you're caregiving to Loved Ones w/ or w/o dementia, learn about and tap into the senior resources in your area. There are a dozen different ways my community uses tax revenue to help local area seniors, for free or little cost. Things like a "device pantry" (walkers, wheelchairs, etc., left by others for those in need), shuttles to medical or shopping, lawn mowing and snow clearing, companion programs, free medical screenings, income tax preparation, exercise classes, hot lunch programs, free public transit (bus and train cards), social outings and events, health fairs, welfare checks by local LEOs. All of that is offered in my area to local seniors.
(Did someone say something about this already? I didn't see it.)
#47 If you want to ask them what they would like for dinner to make them feel more involved it is ok to do so. My suggestion is to say what you would like for them to have second. As they get further along they will always select the last item you say. "Do you want a hamburger or a sub sandwich?" Most of the time he will say the Sub Sandwich.
If it's time for nursing home care, try first to find an assisted living with "ageing in place". Not all states have this, but the ones that do might take your loved one if they can at least transfer from the bed to a wheel chair or to the bathroom, and can dress themselves (not counting suspenders or belts). Assisted living facilities are usually nicer then nursing homes and cost less. They won't be asked to move and will be allowed to "Age in Place"....As they gradually need more help they will provide it.
If they are still living independently but unable to manage finances, fill out change of address forms for all banks, credit cards, etc and have all bills and statements sent to you. Make their checking account joint with your name so you can take over payments, but open another account for them with just minimal money in it. (This gives them a sense that they are still in charge of money rather than giving everything up)
#50 - When you take your loved one to an appointment write it up in an email - include dr's name, address, phone number, what was discussed and any further treatment as well include time needed etc - send to yourself so you have a running record & dedicate a folder for this - copy other family members so they are aware of what the health of the person needing care truly is ... especially whoever is next in line to be POA just in case you get ill
#51 - Take joy in the little things. My dad asked if he could help us bake cookies the other day. It was the break and bake kind you buy in the grocery store. We told him how to break them apart and had him place a certain number on the trays. All I did was rearrange them so they were not touching the sides or other cookies, take care of the oven and the hot trays when they came out. We (mom, dad and myself) had a good time!
Make small changes to make things easier for them. Put a pullout shelf in the pot and pan cabinet, use a closet purse organizer for their depends so they will be at a level easy to get to. Put furniture sliders under their chair legs so they can slide in and out on the carpet easier. Put food closer to the front and on the upper shelves so they can see it. Keep lots of treats on hand. Put handles at all entrances so they have something stable to hold onto if they have to go up a step. If you have cloth seats in your car cut up a flannel backed vinyl tablecloth to put on the seats. The flannel sticks so it stays in place but their clothing slides on the vinyl making it much easier to get in and out. As someone else pointed out always leave 1/2 hour earlier because like my mom says "We are like two year olds. We have to go to the bathroom before we go and you have to get our coats on and we are just plain slow!" Gotta love her she's right about that.
Your elder had been going to the same doctor for decades, yet as soon as you sign in, the gal behind the window hands you a clip board to fill out an application type paperwork, 4 or 5 pages worth.
Good grief. Both my parents had eye issues thus they would need a really big magnifying glass to read anything. My Mom was hard of hearing so I had shout the questions to her, some questions were embarrassing for a waiting room to hear. When I got most of her paperwork done, the nurse would call in my parents to go to the exam room before I even started on my Dad's paperwork. That was sooooo stressful, those gosh darn papers.
So what I decided to do the next time was just write across the page in big lettering "SAME AS BEFORE", had my parents sign it and handed it back to the gal behind the glass window.
Oh and make sure your Elder has his/her Medicare card, secondary insurance card, and photo ID. Make sure it is easy to obtain, not back home in the top desk drawer. Seems like every time we walk into a doctor's office the Staff needed that. Like who is going to pretend to be someone else going to a urologist?
My Mom had chronic bladder infections so this saved time.
Refer back to rule #32.
If you want to start World War III, taking away one's car keys. It's not easy. But remember when you take away something from an elder you need to give a replacement. Meaning setting up a list of people who can drive the elder. Or a set up with a local taxi company.
If you are Caring for someone 24/7, Find and set up Respite Care, as Soon you will be finding yourself So Burnt out, and in need of a a break, a Long One! Do this several times a yearfor a week or more, and better yet, monthly if possible, for a couple of days!
Usually we make that promise when the elder is still active, still driving, still living at home, meeting friends for lunch, still mowing the lawn and shoveling snow. We cannot picture them being elderly, unable to do for themselves. Oh dear, now what do we do?
It's either bringing in caregivers to help out if you find that caregiving seven days a week for 15 to 20 hours each day is too much to handle... but so many times the elder will slam the door saying no strangers in the house. Or moving to Assisted Living and the elder blocking the way of the moving van demanding to stay in the house because you promised. You feel the guilt.
Have the conversation with the elder while they are able to comprehend the situation. I made it known to my own parents that in their best interest that they should have caregivers. My Dad was all for it, but NOT Mom. Oh dear, we have a problem in the room. I was a senior myself with my own age decline, like who would pick ME up if I fell? So start this conversation early.
UTI in elderly have different symptoms, are life threatening.
Learn the symptoms online.
Get changes in behavior diagnosed.
PUSH for a diagnosis, often missed using a dip-stick urinalysis.
NEVER skip a dose of antibiotics, use the entire bottle, or the bladder infection won't clear. Then you will be writing us to ask why your loved one's behaviors are so weird, again.
Oh how I wished I would have learned that years ago. It becomes more difficult as the years roll on. Let your elder know you are not able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, that you aren't faster than a speeding locomotive, and you can't bend steel with your bare hands.
It doesn't necessary mean the house, but the "stuff" [as George Carlin would call it] inside the house.
Yes, an almost impossible task as an elder would like to keep every knick knack they bought since the 1930's. You could try by saying to the Elder there is a hospital rummage sale and they really need donations, plus you get a tax write-off on your income taxes. Or the library is having a used book drive, are there any books you could donate to make others happy.
(Did someone say something about this already? I didn't see it.)
As someone else pointed out always leave 1/2 hour earlier because like my mom says "We are like two year olds. We have to go to the bathroom before we go and you have to get our coats on and we are just plain slow!" Gotta love her she's right about that.