I withdrew my husband (85, dementia) from the adult day health program he's been going to for four years. I had to face that he is no longer having enough good days consistently enough to benefit from it. It was an awesome program, and I highly recommend looking into such programs for elders who need some supervision and interaction with others..
I work full time (from home) so we are now going to try in-home care in the form of a PCA several hours a few days a week. I'm waiting for the agency to find a resource with time to match our schedule.
When people compare caregiving someone with dementia to raising children, I understand the analogy. All the basic issues of feeding and incontinence and lack of understanding and skill are there. But the huge, huge difference, to me, is in the nature of the milestones. Throughout childhood, many of milestones are bittersweet, because each first step and first day of school and first date take the child a little further from us. But that is as it should be and even if we are a little teary-eyed, we basically rejoice.
There is no rejoicing in the milestones of the progress of dementia. I'm teary-eyed this week, and there is no joy in it.
May all of us on this journey find strength.