New to AgingCare. Wish I would have discovered this earlier.


I moved in with my mother in October 2002. My father was in a nursing home with dementia and then he passed away in December. My mother is almost 86. Up until very recently my mother was very independent and active. She went to the hairdresser's once a week, went to the gym three times a week, had a luncheon once a month with her former co-workers, went to lunch and shopping with other friends, drove herself everywhere, etc.

She developed pneumonia and was in the hospital from December 16 through the 30th. Now she's relying on me to help her dress. This has been an extremely stressful time on all of us, especially since my brother and sister-in-law have been here as well. They treat me and my husband like children, boss us around, act as if this is their house, etc. They live in FL and we're in SC and they are going to come up here regularly (probably every weekend, knowing them), because they don't trust us to be able to take care of my mother.

I found this board just recently. I wish I'd discovered it while my mother was in the hospital, because then I could have had someone to vent to.

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hello, sisterhoney :) welcome! sounds like there is a crowd there and you've only just begun your journey with your mom. a lot of confusion probably. when i read you post, i thought, brother and sister-in-law come to stay? hmm a little YOU time maybe? you'll need it!be firm "im going out for a bit. this is what she can and cant do etc" goodbye. i'd tell mom youll step out of the way so she can "visit". it will give you some much needed time off, plus your brother and wife will be able to see for themselves what it is like. i'm very sorry about your dad and can only imagine that its taking its toll on all trying to cope with that too. im sure your brother is also thinking it also. hes probably in a panic himself. you're her primary caregiver now, and im sure they are all well meaning. but be strong and be firm.

Sisterhoney....welcome. I just started yesterday....and oh my goodness what a big help. My mom had a hip replacement a couple of years ago. I got home health to come in and help me out. Check with one of the agencies... just a thought.

Welcome to this sight. You can vent anytime you want to, we all do from time to time. Get ready for great support and suggestions, and see that you are not alone. Take care of yourself and let us know how things are going.