I have just joined this site and have read many of the comments by other members.
My story is much like some, my mother is 86, still in fairly good health, not able to see very well, and needs assistance to go from place to place.
My husband and I have shouldered the burden because my four siblings think that a two week stretch with her every year ends their obligation.
As of lately, my mother's short-term memory is suffering, and her ability to understand things is practically gone. I find myself getting very aggravated and lose my patience very quickly. I do not know how to overcome this yet because she can be so mean to everyone and I get even more angry. I am constantly putting out fires between her and my husband and children. My children were teenagers when she moved in and now that they are adults, I am missing a great opportunity to repair some of the damage caused by my mother moving in. Working a full-time job and taking care of mom makes this impossible because not only is she demanding, she is jealous of my relationship with my kids.
I have great empathy for my mom. I can understand how lonely she gets, and how frustrating it must be to know this is her last round. However, we may end up hating each other here in the near future. She will not even listen to a suggestion of assisted living, it is out of the question. I sometimes wish I could run away and someone else would have to take care of her.