My dad passed away when I was almost 6. My mom was pregnant with #5. She did very well for about 5 years for us. She married my step dad (who has since passed) and became a raging alcoholic for the remaining time I lived at home. My younger brother and I knew nothing but the horrendous episodes. She quit drinking for a few years. She started again w/out us knowing. She was living in a city away from all of us and was aging so my husband and I bought her a small apartment and all of my siblings get moved her here. It wasn't long before I found out she was back to being a drunk. Many sickening and sad stories later, we moved her to a nursing home 1 hour away. I live the closest and see her twice a month. My youngest brother can hardly stand her, although he does make an effort. She was at my home for Thanksgiving as was my sister, who helped a lot but lives far away. I don't want her here for Christmas. I want to spend it my immediate family who make me feel appreciated and loved. Should I cave and get her? She is incontinent but won't wear depends, deaf but won't wear the hearing aid we bought her. She has never apologized to my younger brother or myself. Our older siblings have many years of memories and were out of the house before she started drinking. I feel badly that I feel this way. I'd appreciate your thoughts.