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Ways Assisted Living Facilities are NOT Like Condominiums:


1. Privacy: People walk into your room in an assisted living facility at all hours of the day without even knocking.
2. Price: They almost all find excuses to raise the rent catastrophically shortly after seniors move in.
3. Most residents are dead or in a nursing home within two years.
4. Abusive behavior toward residents is common place. Example: Forcing residents to accept help they do not need to make more money off them.

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1. They shouldn't. If they do, make a complaint. If it goes on, persist with the complaint. This is a basic training issue.

1a. If your loved one reports this as a problem, and/but your loved one is hard of hearing, bear in mind that the staff may be knocking and waiting without result, then entering after a suitable interval.

2. Pricing not only of ALFs but of all kinds of goods and services aimed at the older market is indeed a national - nay, an international - scandal. You just have to put your eye shade and your sleeve holders on, sit down with the paperwork and scour the fine print.

3. That's nothing to do with the quality of the ALF. That is to do with the life expectancy of the demographic.

4. See 1.

4a. See 1a, only this time bearing in mind that the resident and the staff may have different accounts of the level of need routinely demanded by the resident, and the staff will not necessarily be wrong.
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It’s not a ‘lie’.

Some are good, some are not. Like everyone and everything else in life.

I’m sorry you’ve had a bad experience with it but hopefully you’ll look at it as an opportunity to learn, do your research and be more informed as to the planning of your own end of life years.
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1. You can ask that this not happen with entering rooms if the senior doesn't require wellness checks, at least at my brother's AL.
2. Price. Yes, they are very very costly. And have huge numbers of personnel cooking, cleaning, maintenance, gardening, etc. And the residents are not well, or they would not be there. Prices at my bro's place are set when you go in, and the same for all, may be raised once yearly, and within a 1 to 5% level. That is in the contract. So before choosing choose a place with a strong contract.
3. Whether fortunately or unfortunately, most residents are NOT dead in that number of years at many facilities. My bro's friend in his now for 7 years. Many residents there that long.
4. I am sorry to hear that the experience you have had has been abusive. At my brother's place the people are kind and decent and you never hear "That's not my job". Their patience amazes me and many are personally committed to working with the elderly and impaired, and attend an enormous amount of educational stuff and fund raising they would have no need to.
So I would say that facilities vary, and so does experience. GOD knows it is so costly. Getting older is, to my mind, all around not a fun thing, a long slow slide down with no upside, loss after loss after loss, and I am so thankful my brother has found the place he is at. That said, what happens to us in age is not for sissies, and I am hoping to avoid it with a quick and fast death. I think many of us feel that way.
Again, I am so sorry for your experience.
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In our area there were only two assisted living facilities that we even considered for my mother-in-law. One was large and cost considerably more than the one we chose.

We chose one that has about 15 to 20 residents. It was more like a big family. We were there often I never once noticed anything that would resemble abuse.   They did raise her rent after about a year. But when she was dying, and needed a lot more assistance, they did not charge extra. And they could have.

We did regularly see one resident who had dementia who verbally abused the staff. But they took it in stride and we're always kind to her.

My mother-in-law's sister in Arizona lives in a facility that by most standards would be plush. She had a small one-bedroom apartment, was able to order wine with her dinner, the tables had white tablecloths for dinner and, oh, they ordered from a menu. There is nothing remotely like that around here.  And of course it was costly.

My mother-in-law's attitude improved 100% the day she moved to the assisted living facility. I believe it was easier for her to accept the help she needed from strangers rather than from family.

We considered moving her to assisted living two years prior to her actual move, and she told us THEN that she felt like a sheep being led to slaughter.

But this move was accepted with Grace and we had a year-and-a-half to make peace again and become the friends we had always been. I could be a daughter-in-law again instead of a caregiver. What a blessing for both of us.

Of all the ailments my mother-in-law had that could have taken her life, she had to add anaplastic thyroid cancer to the mix at age 93 and that took her in about 2 months. She was VERY Brave to the end and her last day was a good one! The bath lady came and her granddaughter came and we laughed and told camping stories and she even did a little jig in the bed. That afternoon she went to sleep and that evening she passed away peacefully.

She was alert almost to the end. She had asked that I just give her half doses of her meds so that she could be awake. We had lots of good conversations and prayers together those last few weeks.

To this day I am grateful for the time we had while she lived at the assisted living facility.

I moved in with her at the facility the last 3 weeks of her life to handle the hospice meds. The help at the assisted living facility went above and beyond helping her to stay there and helping me care for her. I will forever be in their debt. Hospice did a wonderful job too.

I know that all assisted living facilities are not created equal. But somehow, someway, we found the perfect place for Mom. We will always be grateful.
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In our area there were only two assisted living facilities that we even considered for my mother-in-law. One was large and cost considerably more than the one we chose.

We chose one that has about 15 to 20 residents. It was more like a big family. We were there often I never once noticed anything that would resemble abuse.  he did raise he did raise her rent after about a year. But when she was dying, and needed a lot more assistance, they did not charge extra. And they could have.

We did regularly see one resident who had dementia who verbally abused the staff. But they took it in stride and we're always kind to her.

My mother-in-law's sister in Arizona lives in a facility that by most standards would be plush. She had a small one-bedroom apartment, was able to order wine with her dinner, the tables had white tablecloths for dinner and, oh, they ordered from a menu. There is nothing remotely like that around here.  And of course it was costly.

My mother-in-law's attitude improved 100% the day she moved to the assisted living facility. I believe it was easier for her to accept the help she needed from strangers rather than from family.

We considered moving her to assisted living two years prior to her actual move, and she told us THEN that she felt like a sheep being led to slaughter.

But this move was accepted with Grace and we had a year-and-a-half to make peace again and become the friends we had always been. I could be a daughter-in-law again instead of a caregiver. What a blessing for both of us.

Of all the ailments my mother-in-law had that could have taken her life, she had to add anaplastic thyroid cancer to the mix at age 93 and that took her in about 2 months. She was VERY Brave to the end and her last day was a good one! The bath lady came and her granddaughter came and we laughed and told camping stories and she even did a little jig in the bed. That afternoon she went to sleep and that evening she passed away peacefully.

She was alert almost to the end. She had asked that I just give her half doses of her meds so that she could be awake. We had lots of good conversations and prayers together those last few weeks.

To this day I am grateful for the time we had while she lived at the assisted living facility.

I moved in with her at the facility the last 3 weeks of her life to handle the hospice meds. The help at the assisted living facility went above and beyond helping her to stay there and helping me care for her. I will forever be in their debt. Hospice did a wonderful job too.

I know that all assisted living facilities are not created equal. But somehow, someway, we found the perfect place for Mom. We will always be grateful.
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In our area there were only two assisted living facilities that we even considered for my mother-in-law. One was large and cost considerably more than the one we chose.

We chose one that has about 15 to 20 residents. It was more like a big family. We were there often I never once noticed anything that would resemble abuse.  he did raise he did raise her rent after about a year. But when she was dying, and needed a lot more assistance, they did not charge extra. And they could have.

We did regularly see one resident who had dementia who verbally abused the staff. But they took it in stride and we're always kind to her.

My mother-in-law's sister in Arizona lives in a facility that by most standards would be plush. She had a small one-bedroom apartment, was able to order wine with her dinner, the tables had white tablecloths for dinner and, oh, they ordered from a menu. There is nothing remotely like that around here.  And of course it was costly.

My mother-in-law's attitude improved 100% the day she moved to the assisted living facility. I believe it was easier for her to accept the help she needed from strangers rather than from family.

We considered moving her to assisted living two years prior to her actual move, and she told us THEN that she felt like a sheep being led to slaughter.

But this move was accepted with Grace and we had a year-and-a-half to make peace again and become the friends we had always been. I could be a daughter-in-law again instead of a caregiver. What a blessing for both of us.

Of all the ailments my mother-in-law had that could have taken her life, she had to add anaplastic thyroid cancer to the mix at age 93 and that took her in about 2 months. She was VERY Brave to the end and her last day was a good one! The bath lady came and her granddaughter came and we laughed and told camping stories and she even did a little jig in the bed. That afternoon she went to sleep and that evening she passed away peacefully.

She was alert almost to the end. She had asked that I just give her half doses of her meds so that she could be awake. We had lots of good conversations and prayers together those last few weeks.

To this day I am grateful for the time we had while she lived at the assisted living facility.

I moved in with her at the facility the last 3 weeks of her life to handle the hospice meds. The help at the assisted living facility went above and beyond helping her to stay there and helping me care for her. I will forever be in their debt. Hospice did a wonderful job too.

I know that all assisted living facilities are not created equal. But somehow, someway, we found the perfect place for Mom. We will always be grateful.
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RobinL1, in my area, the Assisted Living facilities that I have toured are like studio apartments, which in the real estate world if one was buying would be considered a condo.

Rents can go up but only a certain percentage, no different then rental apartments. And rents can go up mid-lease if a resident needs an extra level of care.

I know my Dad was paying close to $1k a month extra for Medtech service, where twice a day a certified aid would bring Dad his medicine, as he kept forgetting to take it. I know that sounds high but it runs around $30 a day for twice a day service. It would cost me more if I had to run over to the facility to give Dad his pills.

When Dad moved to Assisted Living, he called his room "his college dorm room". Most of the people on his floor kept their studio apartment door opened during the day. Dad enjoyed people walking by and say hello to them.

And not once was Dad ever abused by the Staff. And neither was my Mom who was living in long-term-care in a different facility because she needed a village to help her. Even though Mom was in final stage of dementia, she never reacted afraid of anyone on the Staff. Cost of long-term care was a set cost no matter if Mom's needed more attention.
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Because some assisted livings ARE like condiminiums. The way an AL is set up varies from facility to facility, they are not all the same. Some assisted living facilities look like nursing homes and the residents only have a small room and sometimes a room mate. Others, each resident has their own apartment, and no one can just enter the apartment (unless the door is unlocked). There are several in my city that are like condos/apartments and there are a few that are like a long term care facility.
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No one on this forum ever said they are like Condominiums. Maybe independent living but not ALs.

ALs are just that, a place for people who need some kind of assistance.

Answer by number

1. Does the resident need meds, shower or just a "check" in. Are u the resident or a family member. I would make the administrator aware that this is being done. That a knock would be appreciated before any staff enter. This is just common decency. Put a sign on the door. "Please lock loudly before entering"

2. Your room and board is usually a set price and that is set for a year, just like a lease. Its the care that may change. That is usually reevaluated ever 3 months.

3. ALs are limited on the care they can give. For some people they decline rapidly and need more care. Going into a nursing home in two years, money may have run out. Medicaid does not always pick up the costs of ALs or ALs are Medicaid approved so the person needs to go to LTC. Even if Medicare approved, they have only a % of medicaid rooms. A quota.

4. By law, they cannot FORCE a resident to do anything they don't want to. But, really, you really have no idea what this persons care plan is. Maybe they have Dementia and can no longer walk without assistance. But the resident feels they can walk. It really is up to the staff to keep this person safe by not allowing them to fall.
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I'm sure some of the posh ones 'are' like condominiums, unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any standard so the term Assisted Living is applied to all kinds of facilities, from luxury apartments with added amenities to basic old fashioned retirement homes where your get a combination bed/sitting room. Another alarming trend is for AL's to actively sell their rooms to people whose need are greater than the facility was designed to handle, this is a real tragedy for those who aren't receiving adequate care.
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