Why do people say they have POA "over" someone?

I could see my siblings thinking they had POA for mom "over" my other siblings. As in "I got it and you didn't", "mom chose me over you".

When husband was appointed guardian for his mom, he ran into issues where hospital staff told him he needed a POA for his mom. We regularly had to explain that guardianship didn't need a POA. Sigh.

Kiddo, I'm glad you got clarification.

I think the fact that so many people use the expression "having POA over" makes many elders pause when they need to do this

From a legal perspective, everyone 55 and older should assign a POA (and have a will, and an advanced directive) because without those things in place, life can be very messy for your loved ones.

Oh goodness. I just wrote that today. That my Mom gave me POA over her. I certainly meant no harm or disrespect. I had heard that term my whole life and always thought it was the way you said it. The official way. Believe me, I don't now nor have I ever had any power over my mom in any way. I do apologize and now I know to change my vocabulary. Keep in mind that this is very, very new to a lot of people. Including me.

cwillie, I was my brother's only living heir and was the beneficiary on all his papers. I was also made, by him, his Trustee and POA. NO ONE would ever have questioned my role. I could have thrown things in the trash if I wasn't worried about taxes, IRS, anything else. That's for certain, because I was ALSO his executor and Trustee.

HOWEVER, and this is key, over and over again here we see siblings at war. In fact I would say 50% of them are. And I will warn people in that case, that a Fiduciary POA can be called before the court by a sibling in TWO SECONDS if they want to pay the attorney. And they had BETTER have the papers to prove their actions, or they are done, and will never be made conservator, guardian, or anything else. The state will take over in one short meet before the judge.

For my brother, who was still competent, it was also important to ME at least that I provided him with the comfort of knowing his money was well managed.

You are absolutely right that people don't keep the records. People often haven't a clue. Nor are they aware of the repercussions of a SINGLE person calling them "elder abusers" and bringing them to the court for examination.

Why do people say they have POA "over" someone?

It is a reflection of the intent of their heart, and a misinterpretation of the fiduciary duties of a POA.

It's about time someone brought this up.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are POA's who misinterpret
their role, thinking in error, that they need to spend their own money
on their parent.

I don't believe most POAs are really keeping those meticulous record you keep talking about Alva, yes there is a legal and ethical obligation but it's not as though anybody is auditing the books the way they are with a conservatorship. My oversight was certainly never called into question by anybody... frankly since I was the only one that had any clue what mom had I probably could have siphoned a huge percentage of her money with no one being the wiser.

I find that most of our OPs have ZERO knowledge of what a POA is, that it is a legal fiduciary duty and that they have to keep meticulous records of every penny into and out of accounts. They have also zero knowledge of BANKS and THEIR fiduciary duty to an account holder. They have no idea when they can/should use their POA to protect an elder's finances and they believe they can simply add themselves to accounts. I so agree with you. We see this over and over again and today TWO people said they have POA OVER someone. As tho the word POWER explains it all.
The other thing I hate to see is people suggesting that you can simply draw a document off the computer, have an elder sign it and a notary say, "Yeah, that's her signature, all right" and that document will satisfy a bank. NOPE.

People need to see an attorney. They need to take the time to understand their duties, and the learning curve is STEEP. I originally thought the one POA well done by an attorney would allow me to manage my bro's trust as well. That is how ignorant both he and I were of the whole thing. Back to the attorney and ANOTHER document, this time the one for the Trust.

If you think THAT is all fun, wait until tax time. Wait until you find out that what works for medicare OR IRS OR SS is not that POA. It goes on. People take this so lightly. I would never serve as POA again, other than for my partner, and I insisted that his complicated Trust have another as Trustee. k

In an estate of any amount of money at all a Bank can be your best friend. But I see people here blaming banks for protecting their client's money, as tho anyone can run in with any piece of paper and pull the funds of the parents anywhere they wish.

It's truly frustrating to me, and you just tweaked my last nerve on it, hee hee.

I have found that most of the people on the forum who use that term do misunderstand their role and often are posting about their efforts to exert their control. It doesn't help matters any that there are different kinds of POA and "springing" ones seem to predominate in the US (at least that's the impression I get from years of following AgingCare)

Because POA comes with a duty to protect and shield another person...You cover them with protection, even if it goes against their wishes due to their disabilities or incompetency.
Words are powerful. I was POA over my mother once she become incapacitated. there was no way anyone was going through me to harm or take advantage of her.

The phrase should be "POA FOR Mrs. so and so."

Not OVER, which implies control. But FOR, which implies a caring situation with the pts best interests in mind.

My DH is POA FOR his mother. Even so, it has about zero power since he will only do what his sibs want. He does indeed have the 'power' to move his mom to AL, but w/o the other two sibs' input he will do nothing.

He's been her POA for 30 years and has never made a decision for her, not once. I cannot imagine a scenario where he would actually 'step up' and use this power.

He's also her executor of her trust, which he WILL have to do and is not looking forward to.

Totally agree. I think many folks have a gross misunderstanding of what it means to have POA.