Who is your first priority?
I was reading various posts this morning and the replies. It got me thinking who is your first priority?
Several commenters said your spouse, comes before your parents.
I beg to differ and it took me decades to get to this perspective. We need to prioritize ourselves. Then we can have the energy needed to look after other family members.
I wore myself ragged when I was married, working multiple jobs and only having one day off a week, while my ex lazed about, bought an expensive car we could not afford etc. My health was terrible, I had constant flare ups of IBS, migraines that lasted weeks and never saw my friends.
I have a son with serious mental health issues, a hoarding dad and a mother who is borderline Narc. My brother uses the excuse of adult diagnosed ADHD for not doing the things he needs to do, he is Dad's POA.
But I have stepped back from it all. My son needs to access the mental health supports available in our community, I cannot fix him.
My brother has 1001 excuses for not doing what needs to be done, I will not pay any of the interest and penalties his inaction incurs.
I am paying to have one of Dad's hoards removed as he continues to hoard in my brother's house, but that is because I have inherited the property and want it to be clean and tidy.
I give my spare time to my wonderful grandson.
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Hillel
That was what actually led me to a fix for my migraines. The bad BO that happened with the headaches.
I had literally tried everything, including a neurological exam, tests, everything and I found the information about magnesium on the net where I asked about BO coming on with a headache.
Well worth getting a bottle and seeing if it doesn't help. Nothing worse then smelling unwashed fresh from the shower.
Oh, what we do when we r young and naive. Not sure if I would have worked several jobs while my husband did nothing. Might as well live alone. But, we all have done things we probably shouldn't have in the name of love.
Agree, Dad chose brother as his POA then he pays the price as does brother.
I have a nephew who is a sweet guy but I just can't have him living with me. He is a slob and has a big BO problem. He can live on his own, but he needs overseeing. I am about to let go of 27 yr old Grandson. His brain surgery is a year old in 4 weeks. I have helped him with his Disability and unemployment. Can't do anymore. He does suffer from ADHD but because of epilepsy meds he can't take ADHD meds. Just got his license back. Got a better job so now working on a car. Once that happens, I am done.
Yes, sometimes we have to know when to walk away.
Well done!
Truly inspirational.