Where are you? What day is it? What time is it? What are you doing right now? HOW are you doing? How was your day today?

Hey hallah, so good of you to take time to stop by and read here. Thank you for doing that, and especially for the nice comment. I appreciate that a lot. I’m with you, "thankful for another day to be alive and to help God take care of" our needs. HE is always right on time!

Wishing you all the best, my friend! Sending prayers for you and your wife during your new journey.

OH, Frances73, Happy Belated  67th BIRTHDAY to you! I hope you got a chance to order food from your favorite restaurant and to see that movie. Say YES . . . tell us you did get to do that! Good for you!!!

Good morning everyone! It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood! Thunderstorms last night, wet out there this am. Even so, I’m thankful for another day to be alive and to help God take care of my wife.

I’ll be busy today.

1. Yesterday morning we put a deposit down on an apartment in an AL facility. Came home with several pages of paperwork to fill out. 2. The realtor was here in the afternoon. He left us “homework” to do.
3. The agency my former employer has to help retirees wants me to look at different health insurance plans, see if we need to change plans.
4. Start packing odds and ends, knick-knacks, etc. Clean out some clutter, etc.

When I started typing this, I was feeling overwhelmed. Now that I’ve listed what I need to get done today, it seems easy. My daughter keeps telling me to make a list!

I asked my wife why she wants to move to AL. She said “To make it easier on you.” We were driving and I was hit with a sudden burst of pollen dust. I didn’t have my pollen filter along so my eyes misted up. Darned pollen.

Thanks for listening/reading, everyone. I appreciate all of you!

It’s Friday evening in Ohio and I am binge watching CSI:Miami. To morrow is my 67th birthday and I am planning on spending it doing what I want to, ordering food from my favorite restaurant and seeing a movie.

Fuzzyknot,

Have a beautiful weekend.

We are finally going to be in the 80s and we are spookier looking forward to it.

Great big warm hug for all who need one!

Friday, October 8, 2021

Happy Friday AgingCare Friends!

"Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them." ~Quote~ John Shirley

Wishing you Joy & Peace and all the Love & Happiness your heart can stand.

Have a Great Weekend Everyone!

OldArkie, Thank you so much for commenting here. I'm sorry it's taken this long to acknowledge your response, but I've been having computer problems. That's no excuse, just the truth.

I HEAR YOU when you say "I often ask God to take care of me so I can help Him take care of my wife." That is what gets us through difficult times on this caregiving journey.

I hope all is well with you and your wife, best wishes to you both.

Today is Saturday, which means that the only decision that you should be making is whether to relax and do nothing or to do nothing and then relax.

Happy Saturday everyone, have a great weekend!

OldArkie, if you click on your avatar (the blue circle up top with your initial- -I just learned that’s what it’s called) and then click on Activities that should show all your posts. I couldn’t keep track of mine either so tried that and it worked for me.

My wife hasn’t reached the “I’m cold” stage yet. I saw my parents go through that so I know what you mean.

I do get stressed out sometimes but not what I would call overwhelmed, at least not yet. Maybe it’s in my DNA to be a caregiver, maybe because I had been a respite caregiver for LO’s of terminally ill patients who were in hospice. I just seemed to fall right in to caring for my wife when she was first diagnosed. I’m sole caregiver, doing it all same as you.

I often ask God to take care of me so I can help Him take care of my wife. I also ask Him to handle the day for me because I can’t do it on my own. Prayer works!

Hallah;
I know where you're coming from! My wife listens to every thing I say, wants to know who I am writing to and about what, and offers advice on problems that arise (however ridiculous they are). As I write, she is asking if I went to the doctor yesterday...I went to a cardiology appt. for 6 month checkup for my stents, and we discussed it all day yesterday and I repeated it numerous times. She doesn't remember I went. We are treating a eye infection she had and must put eye drops every 3 hours. I get up and drop them in; sit back down, and a couple minutes..."I need some eye drops". You near have to be a psychiatrist to care for them, and no one can appreciate your particular problems and difficulties because every AD patient is different!
I haven't learned, yet, how to navigate this forum. When I leave and come back, it is hard to locate the thread I was following or even my old posts!
I meant to ask... does your wife have problems staying warm? All summer I have suffered in sweltering heat (80 degrees and more) same in winter! Keeps furnace running constantly! My doctor says it is common in old folks. When he goes to nursing home, nurses are all sweating in heat. I am going to try getting her a sleeping bag and put in her chair to keep her warm. I could go on and on! Nice meeting you, a sympathetic soul! :-)

More...........
Do you ever find your situation overwhelming? I have had it for several progressingly regressive years! Transforming to full time caregiver, housekeeper, cook, maintenance man (carpet cleaning my specialty) laundry man, counselor...
So far, I can sorta' keep up but, but one little hitch, could screw up the works!

OldArkie, thanks for sharing. It does seem our wives are in similar situations. Some of the things you mentioned sound like my wife. According to my wife,”I don’t have dementia. I just have a memory problem.” I just tell her dementia is the term used by doctors to classify her type of memory problems. She seems ok with that.

We’ve had the lift chair about two years now. The incident I mentioned the other day was the first time she’s done that. Some times she will tilt the chair all the way back and not remember how to tilt it to get herself up. “Help. I’m stuck!” It’s funny but it isn’t.

I’m fortunate that she and I can still talk every day stuff, within reason. I’ll ask her at times how she would cook something and then make it her way. We’re discussing moving to a AL facility with MC. She does well talking about that. As I said somewhere we’re newbies to this. Glad I found this forum.

OldArkie, keep in touch. Don’t be a stranger.

Definitely get an eldercare attorney to help you through all the legal stuff you will need to take care of and the sooner the better. You can look under Care Topics (at the top of this page) fir Elder Law info and discussions.

Hallah, I read your post from Sept 4 about the lift chair and your 3 hour respite... I suspect you and I have similar circumstances. My wife is 83 with stage 2 (I think) alzheimers and she was diagnosed about 4 years ago . At first we thought just memory but family doctor very openly diagnosed it for us and told us what to expect and about when! She didn't resent the diagnosis and now she can't remember it. She continually does small, senseless things like you mentioned. Won't accept a lift chair and I took her tp pick out a new recliner and when we got it home she didn't like it... wouldn't have it, so I returned it. Bought a different one that fit her perfectly so she could stand up rom it... same story. Gave it to my nephew! Up until lately, I have been able to be gone for several hours but now, she resents me even going out in the yard for awhile. She doesn't know what she will eat when I ask, and she often won't eat what I get her even if she agreed to! She knows our family and says she knows others...if she does is questionable. One concern I have is that I am not sure she won't invent some of her pronlems and tell me she can't do something when she can. And I have no way to tell. Her health is fairly good, even tough she is being treated for several illnesses. I am told I better get a eldercare lawyer to prepare for protecting my finances if medicaid nursing care is necessary. We have a few bucks salted away but am told nursing home care would take all we have in no time. I must... do that immediately cause I know I'm in it for the long haul!

Hi everyone! All is going well here. A quiet day for us. No plans for the weekend.

Hope y’all have a peaceful, pleasant weekend. Maybe let us know how it goes/went, ok?

Hello dear forum friends. May joy and happiness accompany you throughout day and night! Wishing you a very nice Thursday!

Hi Yielding. Welcome to the forum. I hope you continue to find the forum comforting. You are not alone, there is always someone ready to answer you, inspire you, pass along tips and advice, and much more. Personally, I find the forum encouraging and positively up-lifting.

Hi fuzzyknot! Yeah, I’m ok. Nothing exciting going on around here. I read your message last evening but was too tired to reply.

I hope you’re doing better. I sensed you were going through a rough spot and hoped you would be back after you got through it. We need your inspiring messages on this forum.

No thanks necessary. I just know how I feel being welcomed to a group and wanted to say “welcome” any new-comers. I hope I didn’t scare them away.

Hey hallah, how are you doing today? I hope all is well and things are going okay. Thank you so much for all you do to welcome people to this post and the forum.

I've gotten side-tracked and discombobulated . . . again . . . so I haven't been able to interact properly. This is THE reason I was hesitant to start participating again . . . distractions and discombobulation-ness!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for doing what you do.

Hello Yielding and welcome to the forum. As you said, you’re not alone. You have come to a great place to ask questions, vent, reach out to others. There are people on here from all over the world with varying stages of caregiving and they will share their knowledge.

There are some YouTube videos concerning caregiving for dementia/alz patients. Teepa Snow’s videos are good as well as Dementia Careblazers, both on YouTube.

Thank you fuzzyknot and hallah. It is hard, but the support of this community and online videos are helping, the more you learn, the better equipped you are to deal with the days that drive you bonkers 😂 Have a lovely evening!

I do!

I am brand new to the forum..but find it very comforting to know that I am not alone. My husband was diagnosed in April...and it it certainly challenging. However...I know that God puts on me no more than I can bear. I am learning how to cope and not lose me!

Grace, I’m sorry! I meant to say I’m praying you and yours are having a safe and enjoyable weekend, not have……

Guess I’m tired and not paying attention.

Grace2016ro, welcome! Thanks for posting. I pray you and yours will have a safe and enjoyable weekend. God bless!

I had a good day today. Didn’t do much; put together an end table we bought the other day. LO told me as I was removing it from the carton “You’re a guy. Read the instructions first.” Of course me being a guy, I instantly took charge of that situation: “Yes Dear!” I said.

I did as she suggested, read the instructions first and then took my time assembling the table. It was relaxing! Then I made dinner and cut up and served her some watermelon. After that it was her bedtime. Now I’m going to take a look at CareBlazers (is that the right name?) on YouTube. See what I can learn about Sundowning.

Thank you for your response. I hear you and, I totally understand where you're coming from. I had some of the same issues with my mama that you're having. I'm sending prayers your way.

When you say, "Doctors are lovely to her, but not overly interested in what is going on cognitively". There's a reason for that, many times. I learned that one reason they are not interested in what is going on cognitively is because there is no hope for fixing it. There's not much they can do to make this better. So they concentrate on what they can treat and/or make better.

Thank you for visiting my post, that means a lot to me.

Thank you for your comment, hallah. I learned a lot from reading it. No, your comment wasn't too long at all. I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest.

What I learned from your answer is this: I posted this for all of us to get to know each other better. Getting things off our chest is GOOD, I hope more people will do the same, just "Let it ALL out". Because it always feels good to get things OUT!

I'm in Alberta, it is Saturday night 10:00. I just finished making cabbage rolls. I hadn't planned to do that but my mom, who lives upstairs in a two level house, started to make them today but couldn't figure out how to turn on the oven. When I got home from work she was a bit surly. Day's effort (full day's effort) had netted her 5 rolls and she forgot to add rice - which was always her way. At the Dr 2 weeks ago, she announced that she was protecting herself from BC forest fire smoke by holding a Tena overnight pad over her face, was recommending to me and my brother (via phone) to do the same. Dr didn't flinch, just suggested she prescribe said Tena pads and maybe health plan will cover them. I ask to follow up on brain scan from last year as I was never given result - was told she's in great shape for someone her age, some artherosclerosis. I think she has Dementia, not sure what stage. She spends all day rearranging plants, and furniture, and is not always aware if it is evening or morning even though we have the big clock with morning/evening + day and time on it. She knows who I am, but her short term memory is patchy, as is memory of people who have passed away over past few years. I've been watching videos online and think she is somewhere between early and middle stages. It has been building up over the past 2 years and is starting to sink in with me that she's not trying to be difficult (there is some history there). Doctors are lovely to her, but not overly interested in what is going on cognitively, even when she appears in their office and tells them she is using an adult diaper over her face. I feel completely alone. Only other sibling lives one hour away and is freaked out by Covid and overwhelmed by work, so very little help from that direction.

It was a lovely evening here. Hoping the rest of the long weekend is lovely too because I am taking her to my brother's place for a few hours visit, and plan to escape on a little hike with a friend and maybe a bit of a patio sit. I love reading this forum, but have been a lurker more than a participant.

I’m in Ohio, it’s Saturday, 11:38 pm. Typing on here. I’m doing ok now.

Earlier today LO drove me bonkers with her lift chair, going from it to her rollator and back many, many times. Then she started tilting the chair forward, standing up and while standing, she would lower it and then sit down in it. This went on for half an hour. “Why are you doing that?” “I don’t know how the control for the chair works.” Only two buttons and her brain doesn’t always remember how the controller works. I remembered some brush out back that needed burned up. I put a movie on for her and out the door I went. I did come back in at medication times for her.

So I had about three hours relaxing out back.

Sorry! That was kinda long, huh? At least I feel better getting it off my chest.

Oh Yes, hallah. That is a good question to add . . . "Where are you going?"

Me? I'm going to bed, maybe, but only if I can un-glue myself from this forum.

Thank you for reading and especially for commenting. I appreciate that a lot.

I do! I do!

I’m glad I found this forum, don’t remember how that came about. My wife and I are just getting started (2 years) down the long road of this damned dementia disease. I’m learning a lot from you and others on here. You all, or most of you, have the experience of having been caregivers for quite some time, even years. So I am learning from you. The one thing that sticks out in my mind is “pick your battle”.

fuzzyknot, as I told you the other day, you have a talented way of writing that I find both inspirational and, at times, very humorous. Keep it up, please!!