My mother is 98 and is actively dying from a heart condition. She has been emotionally abusive toward me since I was a child: heavy handed with criticism, shame and neglect. She was always so kind to my siblings: I couldn't help but feel unwanted, unloved and unworthy of happiness. I moved home to care for my father a couple years ago and after his death last year, I stayed to try to make amends with my mother. That amend never happened, and here I sit: in over my head providing end-of-life care to my abuser. My siblings have stepped-in, as have caregivers, but she will make-up things, as she has throughout my life, and try to create conflict/concern. She told my sister that she asked me for a drink of water and I responded by saying, "What do you want, now?" The stories are never ending. They don't believe her, but tensions/stress are running high. She'll eventually pass-away and I have no basis for forgiveness. I asked someone, once about what exactly is forgiveness. ie: I forgive you for treating me as if I was something less than human, when I was a child? I forgive you for not appreciating everything that I did for you when you were ill? I forgive you for all the lies you told about me? I was told that forgiveness didn't mean that everything is good. It means that "I forgive you, so get the hell away from me... that I won't give you another second of my time." If that is the case, I hope like 'hell" that I can forgive her.