My in-laws are being cared for by there v CB leaning people and someone they met 6 months ago. These people are not legitimate care givers. My in-laws have spoke poorly our family to them so they are rude and basically taken control of my in laws. To the point that my in-laws trust only these people and not their family. My husband (their Son) are at a loss. We don’t know what to do. My in laws are making bad decisions and these people are helping them do what they want. The more we push my in laws to get the right care they get mad at us and don’t include us in their decisions. Yet they complain we are not helping them. So frustrating and any help or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Thank you from Illinois
is it normal for care takers to cause problems with the family and treat you like you are not family and they are family.
It is not "normal" for caregivers to create problems within a family. That is a red flag if it is happening.
If either one of your In Laws has cognitive problems it might be time to step in and obtain Guardianship. You may not be able to get Guardianship of both but 1 might be better than none. And you would have more control over what is occurring.
If you have proof that there is a problem with financial abuse that can be reported.
I would contact APS (Adult Protective Services) in your area. Report your concerns and ask they make a wellness check specifically to check on the qualifications and payment to these persons you suspect. If this fails you might consider a visit to your local police or sheriff departments. Ask them if they know of options for you to check these folks out. Tell them you have safety concerns. If THAT doesn't work see if there is a number on the internet for your area for some counsel on aging agencies to ask after options. Last resort, an hour of time with an elder law attorney to find out if you have other options. That will be an expensive hour. I can't think of another thing if your elders are not listening to your concerns.