What states in the United States has the best elder care? What places are best outside of the United States for elder care?

What state has the largest number of elderly? It it Florida? If I had unlimited funds and could relocate anywhere I honestly don’t know where I would choose for the best care or just life in general. As I said, I detest the cold weather so nowhere cold.

Riverdale,

That makes sense. Yes, in the beginning of something without having experience it is going to be tougher.

Urine thing is common, I think.

I have been very happy with the care my mother is receiving in SC
It is more nurturing than what we experienced in NY. I don't fault NY in terms of quality of care but the attitudes differs. Generally there is more of a softness in SC but all of this can vary between providers. Also we began the process in NY so I had to start learning all that was involved. By the time we got to SC I understood alot more.

We have dealt with hospitals,rehabs and AL in both states. My only not so great story was that she was left for hours in a NY hospital soaked in her own urine. But other than that I believe the quality of her care has been decent considering all her issues.

Amhijoy,

So true. Very often we have to take things with a grain of salt because our experience can be quite different from others.

cwille,

That book would be an interesting read. Elder care is a big business. Seems like we are living longer. I wonder what our medical care will be like in 100 years from now. I’ll be dead long before then! Hahaha

I don’t see myself moving but every now and then I think about this because our nursing homes here aren’t great. I detest cold weather so it would be hard for me to adjust to a cold climate. My husband on the other hand likes a change of seasons.

CM,

Japan is so interesting. In sixth grade our teacher gave us a writing assignment. We were to pick out a pen pal from the Sunday newspaper and correspond with them weekly.

I scanned the paper and decided that I would write to a 15 year old boy who lived in Japan. We corresponded with each other for three years every single week.

He had a traditional Japanese family that believed in arranged marriages. We stopped writing when he was 18 and was married.

He was in agony about his upcoming marriage. The silly little American girl that I was I told him not to marry her. He told me that was not possible because it would shame his family and he would be expected to kill himself rather than to bring shame.

We told each other secrets. He sent me beautiful pictures of their Japanese gardens and architecture. He sent me a silk bookmark. He invited me to go ice skating with him. I even asked my mom to go to Japan. Of course she said no.

We didn’t discuss elder care but I can tell you that children obeyed their elders. He confided in me that he wasn’t excited about getting married to a girl he never even met. Such a different culture than America.

I distinctly remember his penmanship. It was perfect! Better than mine as an American child who went to a Catholic school with nuns who made us practice penmanship drills daily. I wish I would have kept the letters. Just think with the arrival of the internet I could have looked him up. I could have shown my daughters the letters. Oh, the stamps on the envelopes were absolutely beautiful too.

Seems so old fashioned now, right? Pen pals were common then. We had a list of kids from all over in every Sunday newspaper. In my parents generation women commonly wrote to the soldiers during WW11. Now we email, chat, text, blog, podcast, YouTube, and stream!

A few years ago when I was deeply immersed in caregiving I spent a lot of time reading about alternative types of care - Alzheimer's Villages and Eden Homes and even people who shipped their loved ones half way around the world to places like Thailand because it was more affordable and there is a greater cultural respect for the elderly, and of then there is the growing trend among younger, more active seniors to move into co-ops that are equipped for aging in place (I'd really like to be a fly on the wall to see how these places are functioning a few years on after the spotlights have turned away, I wonder if they have been able to sustain their initial performance) - I believe it was in Being Mortal I read that the idea of Assisted living was originally borne out of a need to give seniors an affordable alternative to old style nursing homes but has morphed into the big business cash cow we see today.

Absolute lottery, all over the world, if you ask me. There is excellent care alongside terrible deprivation, excellent care but eye-wateringly expensive, incredibly expensive care but with practices that make your hair stand on end, and of course terrible squalor and no help for it.

But so much depends on the attitude of the individual receiving care, too. I'm pretty sure it's the cultural attitudes deeply ingrained in Japanese individuals that make their care standards so impressive. If you have care recipients who believe that being 100 years old is no excuse for not weeding your vegetable garden and exercising daily it really helps!

This is really a personal decision. My husband was in a rehab facility for mobility all summer. I’d heard negative reviews about it, but it was the only place in our network that was available. The therapists were phenomenal there. They got him up and walking for the first time in 3 years!

When and if you or your family think you are ready for any sort of facility, you or they must do extensive research and personal tours. Sometimes the most expensive isn’t always the best. Consider your needs and wants in alternative living arrangements and go from there.