What made you almost vomit today?

Gershun,

Thanks for the nice compliment. This woman was my last caregiver position. To tell you the truth, I really think I'm done with this line of work. I did it for a long time and don't want another care job.
I know it's terrible for me to say but I just can't deal with any more piss and sh*t. Or disgusting elderly people who refuse to shower or even wash up. Or their filthy hoarded houses. Or their stubbornness and other assorted asinine nonsense. Or their adult kids who expect the caregiver to be akin to a slave who will just take care of everything and then chase them all over town to recover the wages that are owed.
I've lost patience with caregiving.

So sorry, Brynn.

Yesterday my sister threw up and s*** all down my hallway and all over the bathroom. Her husband had come over to visit her and as soon as that happened he left, so I had to clean it all up myself. She also spits a lot whole eating....anyone want to trade😫

Burntcaregiver, after that story I think you need to change your name to Superwoman.

You're a better woman than me. There are some things I could not do. And one of them is clean up poo.

Hey, I'm a poet and didn't even know it.😃

I'm lucky that my stomach is made of iron and I can usually keep it together even when something is so gross. Having been in homecare (mostly for elderly) for so many years, I've had to be able to. I have seen, smelled, and cleaned every kind of mess a human being can make.
I only lost it the one time and actually had to go outside and throw up in the bushes.
I had an elderly client who was bedbound and invalid from Lewy Body Dementia. She was in diapers 24 hours a day.
I went to change her as I did several times every day. She regularly crapped through the diaper and I would have to change and wash everything.
She had a wound on her backside that needed to be cleaned and dressed daily which I did. The hard part was that she was unable to stay on her side unassisted while I did this. She had lost the ability to even hold on to the bed's side rail.
So, I had to change her one-handed while supporting her with my other hand to get it done otherwise she'd just roll over back into the mess. I also had to get down low to do the dressing change.
One day I was doing the diaper and dressing change, and she wasn't done yet.
She crapped in my face. Literally in my face. It's a good thing I wear glasses because I would have had sh*t in my eyes if I didn't.
That's the one time my lunch came up on the job, and boy did it come. Right into the bush outside in her yard.

My husband has the ability to find "something" hard in his food that he has to fish out of his mouth and show me. I don't know how many times I have asked him not to do that.

With all these restaurant stories I'm glad I'm just as happy to get take out as dine in.... maybe happier.

My mother in law spits food on her plate in restaurants. Not discreetly into a napkin. She let's it hang out of her mouth and slowly let's it drop into her plate. Yep!

lkdrymom, LOL Thanks!

Thank heavens he hadn't had a colostomy, Lk.

CarynAnn...ok you win.

My husband coughing phlegm or a cough drop in my hair while I'm bending over to pull his pants back up after helping him pee. And not finding it until later when I try to comb my hair. Yikes!

Back when my father was still living on his own we would go to lunch every other week or so. My mom died of cancer so my father insisted every burp, fart, or hangnail was a sign of cancer. The word cancer came up within the first minute of the conversation and he said the word at least 20 times during our lunch.

If I thought this was bad, I had no clue. His new favorite discussion was bowel movements. I miss the cancer talks. I would have to tell him it was not lunch-appropriate conversation. If we went to a restaurant and he used the men's room he would announce to the entire restaurant that "He WENT!". I wanted to crawl under the table. Later when he had a permanent catheter he would be constantly pulling up his pant leg to check his bag. I am sure the other diners appreciated seeing his bag-o-pee. I stopped taking him to restaurants after that.

All of these are so funny and honest! 🤣

Never go out to eat in fancy restaurants with old people! LOL
All of us have ‘crazy’ people in our families. My godmother would go out to eat with my cousin. My cousin would excuse herself to go to the ladies room. When my cousin returned to the table my godmother would ask, “Did everything come out okay?” 😆 LOL My cousin is Miss prim and proper and was terribly embarrassed when others laughed at the comment! My godmother completely lost her filter!

Another time, when I was in my 20’s, I made the mistake of taking my husband’s grandmother to a quaint, upscale restaurant in uptown New Orleans. She lived close to this restaurant and I was looking forward to going there for lunch. They have fabulous food.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of asking her how she felt shortly after ordering our food. She went into great detail about being constipated. Gross! Too much information. I think that I learned the name of every laxative on the market! Plus, how many days it took for them to finally work!

Patrons at this fancy, intimate restaurant were putting their forks down. It was so embarrassing that I wanted to crawl under the table! I completely lost my appetite. Again, no filter!

What makes old people talk about bathroom habits (pee and poo) anywhere and everywhere? I have told my kids to take me out to the backyard and shoot me if I start doing that in restaurants! 😝 LOL

bed sores on mom's heels....

Not only eating with their mouth open but also talking with a mouthful of food.

Someone eating with their mouth open.
Despite 20 years of requests not to.
This person has no sinus or other structural issues.
The sound of it makes me insaaane.
GAG. 🤢

The ability to snot without a tissue is a valuable thing to know and I'm glad my father taught me 🤣
(never, never in public though)

Old lady crotch. LOL

Good one CM. You made me think of another. I've seen men hold one nostril shut while they snort out whats in the other one on the side of the road or where ever they might be.

Hockey's big here in Canada. Hockey players do this too when they are on the bench. The camera always seems to zoom in on this.

If I worried about seeing "all they have," I'd have to stop work!

I can't *bear* spitting. Unfortunately there are some youngish, athletic-ish men living round here who seem to think that hacking up heaven knows what and then spitting whatever that is into the gutter is the correct thing to do. It's beyond the pale.