It sounds like it would be helpful to you if you could get plugged in with a local caregiver support group. I would try Googling to see if there are any in your area. That's how I found the one that I've belonged to for the last 3+ years. They saved my life. There is no reasoning with someone with dementia, as "logic doesn't live here anymore." That's one of my favorite lines that I learned from my support group, and it's so true. You must remember that your moms brain is now broken and will never get better, just like your dads was. You can also check out some great videos from Teepa Snow on YouTube about dementia, that will help you, along with the book The 36 Hour Day. God bless you for at least trying to take care of your mom.
I don’t see any point in discussing that something is wrong. She’s not going to believe anything that you say. She isn’t capable of comprehending actual facts.
You were very wise to remove the guns from her home. She is too far gone to remain home alone. My godmother had to be placed in a facility when her ALZ progressed. Her sons weren’t able to care for her. Have you looked at any nearby facilities for her? Her needs are going to increase as time goes on. It may be wise to start looking at all of your options.
You can call Council on Aging in your area to do a needs assessment or ask her doctor for a contact number for a social worker to help you plan for her future care.
i am the youngest of 4 boys i am 57 years old, my dad passed 3 years ago he was a Doctor of Philosophy he dead from Dementia, I moved back in the house to help my mother with him he had got really bad off, he was seeing girls running around the house tiny man in the yard he would tell me be careful not to run them over when i was cutting the glass. and other things. But my dad was a very smart chill kind of men, i could tell him dad nothing there and he would say ok son. But now oh, my God with my mom you cant tell her nothing , she said she will stand on the Bible and die with it, no one can tell her nothing, if you do she gets mad as hell. She calls the cops almost every night about the motorcycles she hears and sees in the back yard riding around, we had to take the guns out the house because she was always talking about shoot people outside. People that are not there. she doesn't hear very well but she thinks she can if i say anything about her health, she thinks im just going against anything she says to be defiant. She is starting to lie about other people seeing these things too and my mother has never been a liar, it hurts me so bad that im in tears writing this now. im the youngest my brothers stop in once a week to check on her but they dont know how hard it is, if its close to night or night she dont want me to go anywhere. she dont keep doctor appointments or want to go unless we make her, anyone thinks my mother is ok because my mom can run good game and plays it off like shes fine when other people are around. we argue a lot i just try to keep my mouth closed because im not getting know where with her. I watched my dad dead from this crap, now i guess ill watch my mom do the same. What do i do NOTHING?, THANKS i had to get that out THANK YOU for any input you can give me.
Your mother is suffering from dementia, obviously, and she should not be left alone in her home at any time. You don't have to tell her there's something wrong with her..........you just have to be there (or hire someone to be there with her) to make sure she's safe, fed, helped to stay clean/bathed, etc. Oftentimes, elders take direction much better from outsiders than they do their own sons or daughters.
I'm sorry you're going through this nightmare again with your mom after watching your father pass away from dementia. It's a terrible thing to watch a loved one lose their minds slowly but surely. My mother is on the same path & it hurts to listen to her talk gibberish or say hurtful things. She too doesn't think there's anything wrong with her, but she lives in a Memory Care home where teams of people look after her 24/7.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
Well I'll thank you for your parents & siblings for stepping up.
'Stepping up' can be a feel good place to be, to be useful & help others. But, it can also turn into a slippery slope heading down into a pit of overwhelming needs too big for one person.
Click on this link, there's a toll free number you can call and just speak to someone about what's happening. Sometimes it helps just to be able to say it all out loud. Plus, the helpline should be a good first step to getting various kinds of advice and support.
Meanwhile, your mother goes airy-ated if you even hint that all is not well? This is a familiar situation for many of your fellow caregivers, and it can get very frustrating and make life very complicated.
What sort of thing do you need your mother to understand?
That's how I found the one that I've belonged to for the last 3+ years. They saved my life.
There is no reasoning with someone with dementia, as "logic doesn't live here anymore." That's one of my favorite lines that I learned from my support group, and it's so true. You must remember that your moms brain is now broken and will never get better, just like your dads was.
You can also check out some great videos from Teepa Snow on YouTube about dementia, that will help you, along with the book The 36 Hour Day.
God bless you for at least trying to take care of your mom.
You were very wise to remove the guns from her home. She is too far gone to remain home alone. My godmother had to be placed in a facility when her ALZ progressed. Her sons weren’t able to care for her. Have you looked at any nearby facilities for her? Her needs are going to increase as time goes on. It may be wise to start looking at all of your options.
You can call Council on Aging in your area to do a needs assessment or ask her doctor for a contact number for a social worker to help you plan for her future care.
Best wishes to you and your family.
i am the youngest of 4 boys i am 57 years old, my dad passed 3 years ago he was a Doctor of Philosophy he dead from Dementia, I moved back in the house to help my mother with him he had got really bad off, he was seeing girls running around the house tiny man in the yard
he would tell me be careful not to run them over when i was cutting the glass. and other things. But my dad was a very smart chill kind of men, i could tell him dad nothing there and he would say ok son. But now oh, my God with my mom you cant tell her nothing , she said she will stand on the Bible and die with it, no one can tell her nothing, if you do she gets mad as hell. She calls the cops almost every night about the motorcycles she hears and sees in the back yard riding around, we had to take the guns out the house because she was always talking about shoot people outside. People that are not there. she doesn't hear very well but she thinks she can if i say anything about her health, she thinks im just going against anything she says to be defiant. She is starting to lie about other people seeing these things too and my mother has never been a liar, it hurts me so bad that im in tears writing this now. im the youngest my brothers stop in once a week to check on her but they dont know how hard it is, if its close to night or night she dont want me to go anywhere. she dont keep doctor appointments or want to go unless we make her, anyone thinks my mother is ok because my mom can run good game and plays it off like shes fine when other people are around. we argue a lot i just try to keep my mouth closed because im not getting know where with her. I watched my dad dead from this crap, now i guess ill watch my mom do the same. What do i do NOTHING?, THANKS i had to get that out THANK YOU for any input you can give me.
Your mother is suffering from dementia, obviously, and she should not be left alone in her home at any time. You don't have to tell her there's something wrong with her..........you just have to be there (or hire someone to be there with her) to make sure she's safe, fed, helped to stay clean/bathed, etc. Oftentimes, elders take direction much better from outsiders than they do their own sons or daughters.
I'm sorry you're going through this nightmare again with your mom after watching your father pass away from dementia. It's a terrible thing to watch a loved one lose their minds slowly but surely. My mother is on the same path & it hurts to listen to her talk gibberish or say hurtful things. She too doesn't think there's anything wrong with her, but she lives in a Memory Care home where teams of people look after her 24/7.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
'Stepping up' can be a feel good place to be, to be useful & help others. But, it can also turn into a slippery slope heading down into a pit of overwhelming needs too big for one person.
Where are you now?
Click on this link, there's a toll free number you can call and just speak to someone about what's happening. Sometimes it helps just to be able to say it all out loud. Plus, the helpline should be a good first step to getting various kinds of advice and support.
Meanwhile, your mother goes airy-ated if you even hint that all is not well? This is a familiar situation for many of your fellow caregivers, and it can get very frustrating and make life very complicated.
What sort of thing do you need your mother to understand?